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Fifty Dollors
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Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, 'Esther,I'd like to ride in that helicopter.'
Esther always replied, 'I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars'
One year Esther and Morris...
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Posted by:
Wayne on 2008-05-09 08:47:51
Average Rating: No Rating |
Views: 47 |
# Comments: 6 | Tags:
fifty
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How to be a Jerk
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Being a jerk can be fun. It gives you a feeling of dominance over others; you are more important then the rest. You are the wolf among a flock of sheep; people fear you, and therefore look up to you. Being a jerk is not hard; all you have to do is think about yourself and your own feelings, and...
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Posted by:
Wayne on 2008-05-04 08:34:42
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Views: 94 |
# Comments: 10 | Tags:
jerk
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Things that you learn as a kid
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# No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
# When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.
# If your sister hits you, don't hit her back.
# They always catch the second person.
# Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
# You...
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Posted by:
Wayne on 2008-05-03 07:25:38
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Views: 59 |
# Comments: 5 | Tags:
kids
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100 ways to order pizza
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1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.
2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.
3. Use CB lingo where applicable.
4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.
5. Terminate the call with,...
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Posted by:
Wayne on 2008-05-02 08:38:48
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Views: 46 |
# Comments: 3 | Tags:
orders
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Myths About Sexuality
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A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw an unusually beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight toward his seat. Lo and behold, she took the seat right beside his.
Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted...
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Posted by:
Wayne on 2008-04-30 05:00:00
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Views: 132 |
# Comments: 9 | Tags:
Myths
Sexuality
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Things we know because of TV
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If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear.
# If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.
# All beds have special L-shaped top sheets...
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Posted by:
Wayne on 2008-04-29 10:38:28
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Views: 65 |
# Comments: 8 | Tags:
TV
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Sisters of Mercy
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A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye. It reads:
SISTERS OF MERCY HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION - 10 MILES.
He thinks it was just a figment of his imagination and drives on without a second thought. Soon, he sees another sign...
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Posted by:
Wayne on 2008-04-27 08:09:24
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Views: 61 |
# Comments: 3 | Tags:
sisters
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Sunday Morning Sex
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Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away,
Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-
year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her
grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart
attack while we were making love...
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Posted by:
Wayne on 2008-04-24 07:44:17
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Views: 156 |
# Comments: 7 | Tags:
sex
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Top Ten signs your a Redneck
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1. Your dog rides in your truck more than your wife.
2. You wear specific hats to farm sales, livestock auctions, customer appreciation suppers, and vacations.
3. You have ever had to wash off in the backyard with a garden hose before your wife would let you in the house.
4. You've never...
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Posted by:
Wayne on 2008-04-22 08:25:42
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Views: 66 |
# Comments: 4 | Tags:
redneck
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I have tried to make love to you 365 times Explicit Content
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During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days. The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:
54 times
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Posted by:
Wayne on 2008-04-21 03:00:00
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Views: 206 |
# Comments: 10 | Tags:
reasons
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King Arthur ans the Witch
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This was sent to me by my good friend Missmarie and I thought I would share it with all of you too..
King Arthur and the Witch:
Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighbouring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and...
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Posted by:
Wayne on 2008-04-20 10:32:19
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Views: 56 |
# Comments: 1 | Tags:
women
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TOP TEN SIGNS YOUR SPOUSE IS HAVING A CYBER AFFAIR
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10. Lately, she sits at the computer naked.
9. After signing off, he always has a cigarette.
8. The giant rubber inflatable disk drive.
7. In the morning, the computer screen is all fogged up.
6. He's gotten amazingly good at typing with one hand.
5. Every day, Bill Gates...
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Posted by:
Wayne on 2008-04-19 07:20:09
Average Rating: No Rating |
Views: 98 |
# Comments: 5 | Tags:
cyber
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TOP TEN REASONS TO GO TO WORK NAKED
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1. Your boss is always yelling, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!"
2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.
3. "I'd love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants."
4. To stop those creepy guys in Marketing from looking down your blouse....
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Posted by:
Wayne on 2008-04-18 07:22:07
Average Rating: No Rating |
Views: 66 |
# Comments: 5 | Tags:
naked
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A SUMMER TIME SHARE WITH DARTH VADER...
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10. Claims those long-distance calls to the Death Star aren't his.
9. Uses Jedi powers to shake up your root beer right before you open it.
8. He's always accusing you of hiding his asthma inhaler.
7. Claims he paid you the rent "a long, long time ago."
6. Dances around in...
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Posted by:
Wayne on 2008-04-17 09:10:36
Average Rating: No Rating |
Views: 59 |
# Comments: 4 | Tags:
darth
vader
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Area 51
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By now, everyone has heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51." Late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their "secret" base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled...
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Posted by:
Wayne on 2008-04-16 07:04:34
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Views: 45 |
# Comments: 1 | Tags:
51
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Attitude
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The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.
Attitude, to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures,than stress, than success' than what other people think or say and do.
It's...
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Posted by:
Wayne on 2008-04-14 22:05:55
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Views: 50 |
# Comments: 3 | Tags:
attitude
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Giving 100 percent
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Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?
We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%.
How about achieving 103%? Here's a little math that might prove helpful.
What makes life 100%?
If
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P...
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Posted by:
Wayne on 2008-04-13 03:00:00
Average Rating: |
Views: 63 |
# Comments: 6 | Tags:
Giving
100
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Whats the fastest thing?
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An office manager was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the...
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Posted by:
Wayne on 2008-04-12 07:30:14
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Views: 58 |
# Comments: 4 | Tags:
fast
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Letter of resignation
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Dear Mr. Baker,
As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of my coworkers and me...
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Posted by:
Wayne on 2008-04-11 08:33:52
Average Rating: No Rating |
Views: 53 |
# Comments: 1 | Tags:
letter
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Crusty Old Marine
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A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.
"Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a...
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Posted by:
Wayne on 2008-04-10 07:30:16
Average Rating: No Rating |
Views: 36 |
# Comments: 1 | Tags:
marine
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