Thoughts - Wayne's blogs

Wayne's Profile

Links

User Profile

Wayne's Blogs

Making Love Explicit Content
During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days. The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often: 54 times the sheets were clean 17 times it was too late 49 times you were too tired 20......Read More

Posted on: 2008-08-29 21:48:51 | Rating:

| Views: 21 | Comments: 0 | Tags: love

Old Couple
There was this couple who had been married for fifty years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning, when the old gentleman said to his wife, "Just think honey, we've been married for fifty years." "Yeah," she replied. "Just think, fifty years ago we......Read More

Posted on: 2008-08-29 06:47:07 | Rating:

| Views: 30 | Comments: 4 | Tags: old sex

Tips to improve your writing
Tips to improve your writing 1. Avoid alliteration. Always. 2. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do. 3. Employ the vernacular. 4. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc. 5. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary. 6.......Read More

Posted on: 2008-08-26 05:44:08 | Rating:

| Views: 31 | Comments: 1 | Tags: tips

Fence post Turtle
While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old Texas rancher, whose hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to McCain and his bid to be our President. The old rancher said, "Well, ya......Read More

Posted on: 2008-08-13 08:32:58 | Rating:

| Views: 90 | Comments: 1 | Tags: turtle mccain

Drinks Show Your Personality
Before you order a drink in public, you should read this! Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could 'nail' a woman's personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results: PART A: WOMEN-DRINKS,......Read More

Posted on: 2008-08-11 09:59:45 | Rating:

| Views: 140 | Comments: 7 | Tags: Drinks

You Might Be a Ricer If.
You Might Be A Ricer If… * You have more exhaust decibels than your engine has horsepower. * You have aftermarket FRONT wheels for racing but stock rear wheels. * Your engine makes twice as much horsepower as torque. * 17" rims up front, 13" out back on your FWD. *......Read More

Posted on: 2008-08-10 08:50:57 | Rating:

| Views: 56 | Comments: 1 | Tags: ricer cars

Chlli cook off Explicit Content
These notes are from an inexperienced Chilli taster named Frank, who was visiting the USA from Canada. Frank: "Recently, I was honoured to be selected as a judge at a chilli cook-off. The original per son called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the......Read More

Posted on: 2008-08-08 07:55:00 | Rating:

| Views: 82 | Comments: 6 | Tags: contest

Make sence
A woman, married three times, walked into a bridal shop one day and told the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown for her fourth wedding. 'Of course, madam,' replied the sales clerk, 'exactly what type and color are you looking for?' The bride to be said: 'A long frilly......Read More

Posted on: 2008-08-07 07:40:26 | Rating:

| Views: 87 | Comments: 1 | Tags: wedding

The Tie
A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghanistan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the object, only to find a little old Jewish man at a small stand selling ties. The Taliban asked, 'Do you have water?'......Read More

Posted on: 2008-07-30 08:59:00 | Rating:

| Views: 91 | Comments: 5 | Tags: tie

BBQ RULES
We are about to enter the summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity, as it's the only type of cooking a 'real' man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved. When a man volunteers......Read More