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Full of ups and downs.Started off in the morning.I went to visit my Dad's grave.Just had to do it.I needed to be near him.I couldn't in life and was even denied it in his death.Couldn't even say goodbye.But at least now I've got a place I can go.Didn't stay there long though.I took the dead flowers from his stone,and threw them away,but then I had this urge,desire or something inside,not sure which,telling me to go over to Nan and Grandad's.Of course,I went,and every time I go I feel instantly relaxed or at ease.They always made me feel like that when they were alive and it's no different in death.They are ALWAYS there for me.The only difference is,I can't see them.But I CAN contact them,any time I wish.I just have to put the glass on the table and ask for them.They come through for me EVERY time.At every other time I've been with someone else,but today I needed to be alone.I was pretty upset,and spoke to them as usual,about my problems.SO much stress just lately.I wonder when it will end?So when I'd said my piece,I thought I'd try and contact them.But I wasn't expecting anything at all.I was there in mid-morning,and in the past we've always done it late at night with the lights out.This time though,I did it on my own and with a light glass.I knew they needed energy to move the glass,so the lighter on this occasion,the better.I put Nan's photo on one side of the table,and Grandad's on the other.I'd only just began to ask if they were there with me,and I was shocked to feel that same,familiar feeling that I've had other times.The glass began to move towards Nan,as if there was a thin layer of air between it and the table.It was great.If anyone is reading this blog,and is any way religious,I know they will ditch my claims right off the bat.But to be honest,I don't give a rat's arse.I KNOW I wasn't moving the glass,and there is an energy there surrounding it.You can FEEL it below your fingers.No need to go into what questions I asked.I'll keep those memories just for me.
So an hour or so later and it was time to pick up my little monster from school for her appointment with the specialist.When we got to the doc's,I was happy and also perplexed by his diagnosis.Lizzy's skin condition wasn't ezema and it wasn't caused by the cats.But they WERE flee bites no-the-less.Very strange.Me and Lynn hadn't suffered with bites,but Lizzy had.That was a real mystery.WHERE had they come from.We all agreed that it was a specific problem with Lizzy.It's somewhere she goes a lot.The only place in our house she spends more time than us,is her bedroom.And that's clean.But I'm still taking out all her cuddly toys and furniture and giving them a damn good clean anyway.What I think it is though,is her Mother's.She only spends just under 2 days a week there,and I know from experience that the ex isn't exactly the cleanest person around.Smelly damp washing just lying in an equally damp cubby hole.Dirty bedsheets.Dirty carpets.Dirt full stop! So perhaps Lizzy has bought a mite or two from there.So when I see her tomorrow I'll rip her fucking head off.She doesn't care.Although I'm constantly telling her how harmful E Numbers are to Lizzy,Liz still comes back to me with a mass of cheap,nasty sweets rammed with E Numbers.They go straight in the bin.
I think I'll finish this tomorrow.It's been a LONG,LONG day,mentally and physically draining to say the very least.
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Posted by Wavey on 2007-09-20 14:49:45 | Rating: | Views: 100
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Sometimes the hardest days are the ones that teach us the most!!
You gotta recharge your batteries though so, feet up and get the kettle on and read some blogs. lol
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Posted by scotslad60
on 2007-09-23 12:55:45
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