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There are certain things in life that instantly and always bring a smile to my face - and most of those things have to do with kids.
Today a coworker has the day off of work, yet has brought in his little 3-year-old son. There's nothing like the sweet sound of pure, high-pitched innocence through the form of a newly acquired vocabulary jabbering away. I love it, simply love it. It's normally dead quiet in here as we all work - or pretend to work - so when you hear the jabbering of a million questions about Halloween costumes and candy, how can you NOT smile? Instantly and always.
Then there's my 15-year-old nephew Max. We have a deep history together (I moved in with his dad/my brother when Max's mom left them when Max was 4 and stayed until he was about 9) and though the past two years have been horrendous on us all (Max started to abuse drugs and alcohol and my brother couldn't put up with it anymore so allowed Max to move in with his mother while he, my brother, took off to start another family), Max and I are still pretty tight. He's my munchkin man Max (MMM) and always will be regardless of the fact that he now towers over me.
Anyhow he called me last night to tell me about his grades and while he's not passing all of them, the fact that he's passing most of them and the fact that he's just going to school is a big deal. He's been handed a pretty awful hand of cards to play with and is doing what he can to turn it into a winning hand, so to speak - all without ANY guidance from either of his narcissistic parents.
I'm proud of him. He's come a long way, and while he's got a much longer way to go - all on his own basically - I'm still proud of his attempt. And I will do whatever I can to ensure that he knows that *someone* is proud of him.
He's the reason I want children, the reason I want to be a mom. Not because I want my child to turn to drugs and alcohol and delinquent ways, but because he has so much life and love in him.
I can't really put it into words. I love this boy as if he were my own and simply cannot imagine loving even my own flesh and blood more - though I suppose I probably will.
There's a reason I haven't had children of my own yet. There's a reason that at 35, I just got married. I was put here to stop the bad parenting cycle. I truly believe this. I was meant to be such an intricate part of Max's life during some of the most crucial growing stages of his life. I was meant to be witness to some horrendous parenting acts portrayed by my own parents, as well as my siblings. I was meant to see all this to help me do better.
I have nothing to prove to anyone. I just have to be a good mother when my time comes. And until then, I will be the best aunt and adult confidant I can to the kids that instantly and always bring a smile to my aging face.
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Posted by WannaMama on 2007-10-26 07:44:09 | Rating: | Views: 111
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I have a feeling you are going to be a great mom.
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Posted by Arik
on 2007-10-26 12:51:45
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I agree with Arik - you will make a fantastic mother..
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Posted by HornyLittlePoker
on 2007-10-26 21:15:55
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I think u are already a great mother! Max probably depends on u more than anyone! I am a child of divorce and it sucks! Alot went wrong, and like Max drugs and alcohol seemed to be the answer. I am glad he is doing so well. Have u thought of taking him in? Just a thought.
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Posted by Rajah1116
on 2007-10-29 10:08:53
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good point, raj! you are right..she's already a great mother.
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Posted by Arik
on 2007-11-05 20:07:33
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