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| Life and Love |
I realize that in life ... you win some you lose some ... you gain a few ... you loss a lot ... see life is about choices ... and recently I made a good choice ... I made the choice to end a completely abusive relationship ... in this decision ... I happened to start going out more while staying in contact with my ex ... but the abusive situations still came about and I was still crying everyday ... I was still wishing I was someone different everyday ... I was still caught in the abusive cycle ...
Then I met ... Andrew ... he changed my life ... truthfully I didn't mean to meet him ... I mean I went with a friend to a child custody case ... where she was a witness and so was Andrew ... he was there ... I was introduced to him ... and I fell in love at first site ... I never felt so overpowered by the curiousity, the intensity, the feeling of a person before ... all I wanted to know was who this guy was ... and maybe was he interested in me ...
My friend gave him my number and he texted me later that night and my ex was there ... I had never wanted him so badly out of my life before then ... I realized just within a few minutes of talking to Andrew that if I took this chance ... things would be different they would change ... my life of sadness would end ... and a new life of happiness could begin ... it wasn't like I was keeping my ex around for any reason ... I had even gone on a few dates before I met Andrew ... I had even thought of pursuing a few of these people but my ex had never really left me alone ... he asked me who I kept texting ... and I told him ... this guy I met ... he realized then it was different than anyone before ... it was the one he wasn't ... the one he wasn't meant to be ... it was the one he isn't ... and won't ever be ... and I saw his face drop ... I saw his heart shatter ... and it killed me because we were friends for so long ... but I then realized if he was ever my friend he wouldn't have hurt me ever ...
So ... I closed one door ... completely ... I realize there is no need to talk to an abuser ... because that person has their "version" of the story which most people are stupid enough to believe ... and the few that are your true supporters ... are so happy you are out of that situation ... because they knew how much it changed you ...
So ... I tried with all my might to open another door with someone who is worth it ... with someone who allows me to be myself 100% of the time ... with someone who loves me cause I've survived so much and I keep trying ... no matter how much these things have changed me before meeting him ... find that person ... don't allow others to make you ... allow them to take you along the journey of life just as you are ... because if you can't accept yourself don't expect anyone else too ... the moment I realized who I was ... I gave up the abuser ... the moment I realize who Andrew was ... I leaped with open arms ... because I have never been treated so wonderfully and I'm so glad I did :)
I just wanted to write this blog ... to define what has gone on recently because most people think they know ... but they have no idea ... because the few that do ... know when you are at your fullest ...
Thank you for supporting me being at my fullest :)
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