I saw on someones blog something about writing your own epitaph. At least i think I did. Maybe i imagined it. I'm very tired right now but its something i have thought about before in passing. I apologise in advance if i ramble. This is not what i think will be written, just how i hope i will be remembered. Hopefully a long long way off so sharpen your pencils and make notes. :o)
I hope i bring pleasure to people. I hope that i make people smile. I have no desire to hurt people, anyone, but that does not mean that if i care about someone i won't tell them exactly what i think. In doing so I can tell them the most tactful and caring way i can
. I want to have been a good Dad. I want my children to know love and for them to respect me. Not through fear but respect through my respect of them as people. I want that respect but i want them to know the freedom of being able to laugh with me at my own mistakes. And in the shared laughter know that humbly swallowing pride is a sure way of defusing peers taunts. Peer pressure can make us make bad decisions.
I want to have been a good man. Yes, i have made mistakes. I have followed a path that has hurt people i cared about. I accept my responsibility for that. I have reasons for the faults i have made that some would call excuses. I accept that thinking too, i see both lines in an argument and I have trouble believing totally that my view was the right one even though I made a decision. Sometimes i have made a decision because it 'felt' right. Maybe i was wrong.
I want to have treated the lady i love 'properly'. I open doors, I want to be attentive. Buying flowers for no reason, hugs anytime, impromptu kisses. I'll carry her bags, massage tired feet, treat her 'like a princess', not because she wants me to, but because I want to. I struggled with the idea of feminism. I want to 'wear the trousers' but that i was free enough in my thinking to accept dinner from her.
I hope i was a good son. I hope that my life decisions have not brought shame upon my parents. Sometimes i have found it hard to feel I was 'good enough'. Perhaps it was through my own perceptions and self esteem that made me think this way. I don't know. We all blame our parents for our own phsyce's. I may be wrong about that too. Even so, i hope i turned out ok enough for them to be proud.
I want to be a good brother to my siblings, I know i may not have visited often enough but i think they both know how much i care for them and that i am always available in times of need.
I hope i have made a difference in peoples lives, from my friends to people i meet and chat to for five minutes. I hope people on thoughts take a little bit of something from me and smile at my thoughts, maybe thinking differently about the words i have to say. In a more egotistical way I would hope something i suggested would help another reader, though i doubt my views are THAT interesting :o).
I accept i may have old fashioned ideas, but I can summarise an epitaph of me in these few words.
He was a gentle man.
I hope i make the grade
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