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WOW. I am beyond tired right now. I am a wimp now-a-days when it comes to a lack of sleep. I used to live off 2 hours of sleep every night for month's straight, I prefered 4, but that didn't happen usually. I was a freak about school in High School. Had to have straight A's and I had all honors or college level classes. My day would consist of school, work until 11, then stay up until 3 or 4 to get homework done, then wakeup the next morning for school at 6. The weekends weren't much better. I was working at a gas station and I would have to be to work at 4 am Saturdays and 5 AM on Sundays. Oh man, I really don't miss those days.
I suppose now would be a good time to mention my severe insomnia when I was younger...I was hospitalized for it. I pretty much went insane because I didn't sleep...I don't know how long it was for, they say around 9 days? I don't know how correct that is though...I don't remember most of it. My mind slipped into some sort of strange catatonic state. I would just sit there blankly staring at the wall, I think I did that for a day or so...and then I guess I came out of that state and would throw things at whoever came into my room as I sat there with my knees to my chest and just rocked back and forth. They got me to the hospital and drugged me up and then I slept for 3 days...this is all what I was told anyway. Sometimes I look back and I feel like it's not true, simply because I don't remember any of it so it's hard for me to believe it. But why would they lie to me? I know they wouldn't do that.
I have finally, now, learned to let go of things, I find it makes it much easier to sleep at night if I don't let the world bother me. I am still in school, I take 2 classes online, I work full-time. But I don't freak out if I can't get something done on time...ok so I am lying a little bit...but I won't stay up until 3 or 4 am to do it. If I have to work in the morning and it's not done by midnight or 1, I just say "oh well". I can't force things to work. Not surprisingly, things have always managed to workout ok despite. The last 3 semesters I have gotten straight A's, despite being a lot more relaxed about school. One thing I will do, however, is pull an all-nighter on a Friday or Saturday night if I don't have to work the next day. Sometimes, especially during finals or midterms, it's the only way I can get things done! I just have my caffeine pills at hand, ready to go, and go to town. I don't think I've ever stayed up past 5 or 6 though. I usually crap out by then! My classes last semester were ridiculously hard. I was doing, on average, about 20-30 hours of homework a week. I would do 2-3 hours every night I worked and then 7-8 on my days off. It was awful. It was draining. But it was a success. I made it through, but barely with my sanity. John kept getting frustrated with me because I was perpetually crabby...I don't want to repeat that semester. This one should be easier.
Lucky for me school starts 1 week before the big race day. This is nice because I had the whole summer off of school to just concentrate on training. That's been a nice break for me, a nice mental one. It's been hard enough to stay awake at night after running, staying awake and trying to do homework would be ridiculous.
I suppose I could share why I am tired today. I worked until 11:30 last night and then came in today at 7:30. Today is straight overtime, so that's nice at least. 8 hours of time and a half will be GREAT on my check! But I am really wishing right now that I wouldn't have agreed to coming in. Man am I pooped.
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Posted by VegRunner on 2008-09-15 11:05:23 | Rating: | Views: 21
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