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I was fixated on the tiny shaped that danced upon his face. His eyes were blankly staring into the angry flames, disappearing into the clouds of the vast Canadian sky, streached out above our sanctuary. The fire seemed to fill our thoughts; the tension left us empty. Everyone was silent. The only sound was that of the fire, raging and crackling against its hostage sparks that escaped into the smoky clouds. I was jealous of their escape, for it seemed like mine was far away. I wondered if this would be the last time I would feel the warmth if the flame through my fingertips.
I didn't know what to think about the situation. It was tragic, but i wasn't scared. The flames pushed against thert invisable cage, threateningly. They twisted and spun, screaming at us, warning us of the obstacles ahead. It bellowed painful words at us, spitting the truth. But it was no surprise. We all knew of our unpleasamt destiny. Of what was to come and of what we should have been aware. Of what we were devil enough to look in the eyes in the first place.
My throat was dry. I could still see the shapes on Caleb's face. But they were no longer dancing. Instead they made swift figure-eights across his pulsing jaw;warningly swirling beneath his chin. His empty eyes were drained of hope and faith, and his usual spunk that highlighted his ambitious potential had left. So all we could do was wait. For if Caleb was out of hope, hope was gone.
Everything about the night reminded me of my grim fate. The trees rocked in the wind, taunting out decision. The stars gave us the most beautiful setting and it was hard to imagine them gone. And Caleb's eyes! God, those great, wonderous eyes gazing blankly into the fire. Not thinking of a miraculous escape route, not debating a crucial decision; just staring without any feeling what so ever. And the reality struck me harder than i ever could have imagines. We were all going to die.
You know that feeling that you get, when something is going terribly wrong? And then you hear this minute little voice in the back of your head who keeps insisting that it is all simply a horrible dream? And this wave of relief crashes over your world and engulfs you, allowing you that one, breif moment to relax and take a deep breath? This was the exact scinario that was running through my tangled thoughts. And then i realized that if this were a dream that i was about to be released from, i had been sleeping soundly for a good four and a half weeks. The thick, salty sea water from the monster wave that had previously crashed choked its way down my throat until it had swept out everything except for the unwanted guilt and fear. My heart sputtered from the flood as it realized that all hope had just been swept away by the colossal monsoon that had currupted my future.
It is funny how much there is to notice when you take the time to look around. Zane had taken his thick mane of carrot-orange hair from its stubby ponytail. It hung loose before his eyes, stray pieces clinging to his bush-man eyebrows. I can not ever remember being caught before by the tiny raised scar above Audri's lip, quivering solemnly in the firelight. Tye's long, spidery fingers belonged to unfamiliar strong hands that had been left unnoticed. Nobody had ever told me about Nathan's son before, of which a mangled picture was clenched between his sweaty palms. And I would have never thought Bridget's squinty Asian eyes could become so wide with terror. But tonight, even my own reflection was unfamiliar. Tonight, the flames had stolen my identity. And right there, in the middle of our muted sanctuary, i began to laugh. I laughed until shameful tears trickled down my burning cheeks. And it felt good to cry.
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Posted by VailBabyM on 2008-02-29 14:09:08 | Rating: | Views: 38
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Wow that has some powerful emotiopn in it. You are a good writer. I don't know if that is a true story or not but you've expressed it amazingly :)
Looking forward to more :D
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Posted by eeerm
on 2008-02-29 15:55:10
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Hey babe, Can't see your picture very well :(
Can you upload it to your picture gallery so I can see??
Love ya
xxxxxxxxxx
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Posted by eeerm
on 2008-04-07 07:58:12
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