Yesterday when I was relegated to laying flat I decided to use the little black thingie
with these tiny little buttons with numbers on em. I kinda let my fingers just move and
poof there it was ~ a program on the 1938 Hurricane that hit the New England States
on the east coast of the US. It actually was a bit strung out in its dramatics but there
still was some value at least for me.
I need to explain something here ~ when I watch a program such as this something happens
to me deep down inside that is not a transporting outta body experience but rather a totally
all knowing, feeling, right there while still right here kinda thingie. (I have some very, what some
call, weird senses that are beyond six or even seven.)
Anyway as the program detailed these children that were to be picked up by a bus driver from
school and taken home and how they got caught in the tidal surge of the hurricane and
only one child and the bus driver survived this aura thingie started coming up around me
and I knew what was coming. Suddenly ~ I could feel the children drowning and even more so
I was totally experiencing the helplessness of the bus driver and the despair he had as well
as the child who survived. (There is always and has always been reasons why I get these
'feelings'.)
Several things now are gradually coming together from that experience yesterday and
in a desire to not lose them and with no longer having a hand written journal I am going
to place these right here for me to come back to as my Soul works thru each.
1) Survivor's Guilt (even when it was beyond any control) ~ it can eat the person left
alive from inside out and back inside ~
2) Tragedies are not answerable to any human altho humans do try to answer tragedies.
(There is much more to this... it is coming)
3) Humans do NOT learn from natural disasters becuz their forgetter mechanisms are able
to forget as generations come and go.
4) How many times have I lived before that I still do not know about in my conscious mind.
And how many more times will I live before the living is done. (oh yeah these two thingies
come up over and over again)
5) What is it that holds such an allure to humans to collect 'stuff ' as if 'stuff ' could be
important at all ~ and when they lose it all ~ how is it some just cant go on ~ and others
seem to have no choice and do?
There is no place on planet Earth that is untouched by nature in its beauty but also
its seemingly violent behaviors. Yet somehow humans think they are more special
and can rise above both beauty and violence. Not that I would want any human to
be violent ~ but ~ I may understand violence more than the common human ~
and I am still working on a project that has now been five years in the development in
regards to violence in humans. ~ sighs ~
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