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Well here goes my first blog post, and I must say it feels pretty good being able to write, or should I say type, my feelings with some unbiased readers. I've been having a pretty hard time with things lately so I guess this is a good a time as any to begin writing. I've always felt that if I were to write a story about my life, people would be interested in reading it. Due to an unsupportive (ex)boyfriend at the time, I never really pursued the thought. I've had quite an interesting life so far, full of many exciting events, both good and bad. I've been through many different groups of people throughout my short life; "band geeks" as they're called, horseback riding enthusiast, a snowboard bum, and even some pretty heavy drug users. At only 20, I feel that I have experiened as many different lifestyles that some people may only experience in their entire life. I don't know if I find that more unsettling, or encourging in some strange way. I've heard many times before that finding out who oneself really is can take an entire lifetime. But lately, after reflecting on my life, I feel I may not be that far off from knowing who I really am. At an unstable time in my life, like right now, having that reassuring thought is pretty comforting. I think I'm growing closer and closer to genuinely being happy with myself, a feeling I can't say I've ever felt before. It's strange that these feelings should come right after my serious boyfriend of 2 years ended things with me. I am of course devastated, and am having a really hard time coming to terms with it, but it has given me a lot to think about. He has broken up with me before and when he did, I constantly harassed him online, begging him to take me back and to change his mind, which after a while he unexpectedly did. This time around, however, I have given him his space and have acted as if the whole thing doesn't upset me, because I've heard that would make him curious as to why I'm not phased by the situation and all that jazz. Whenever he's on MSN and I am too, I have an excruciatingly hard time not talking to him, and so far, I've failed and spoken to him the last two days. This is a place where I wish I had more will power and control over my actions, and that is something I will have to work on. I don't know what any of this has to do with my opening words... I just apparently really needed to get it out. I think I'm going to lie in bed and read though, I'm near the end of a phenomenal book and I need to take my mind off of my silly ex-boyfriend who I am so in love with, without knowing why. Goodnight to you all and I hope you have a good rest of the week.
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Posted by Unforgettable on 2008-02-06 02:58:20 | Rating: | Views: 51
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Welcome to the thoughts family. This is the perfect place to talk about and work out the feelings inside your heart. It's why most of us are here. Everyone needs a place all their own. I'm glad you are here. Peace.
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Posted by ColoradoDreamin
on 2008-02-06 11:44:54
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