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| i dont know how im gonna survive |
right now i have mix emotions. my boyfriend has gone on a holiday. he has gone with his dad and brother up in the snow. something im not lucky enough to do. im feeling lonely, left out, sad and angry, im also jelous :(
i got really really upset and cried when he left. i say to myself he'll b back but i always think of negative stuff like wot if he gets hurt and not come back :( im so scared. what if he mees someone there. omg i hate myself to think this.
anyway its time to update on my journey on my help. i went to the doctors and had to get a blood test. that hurt :( i then had a appointment with a counseller. which was horrible!!!!
we didnt really end up tlkn about the right things i needed to. and david kept tlkn about himself (i know that sounds selfish sorry) everything turned into him. david kept tlkn about his family situation. all i was thinking was hello im sitting here it took a lot to come here and im the one with problems and were tlkn about this right now. thats how i felt :(
the rest of that day i was at my lowest i scared david. i stopped tlkn and when i did all i was tlkn and thinking was its my time to go. i got so bad. it made me feel terible seeing david cry but i was still hurting about the session with the counseller.
anyway i have a appointment for next week but i dont wanna go. :(
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