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2-10-08
I’m surrounded by people, yet I’m feeling so alone. I feel weak. Out of place. Unfulfilled. Sometimes its times like this that make me feel like there might be something wrong with me. My whole childhood I felt so unwanted. This is why I hate holidays. It’s this feeling. I know I’ve written about it a lot. That only makes me understand it’s really a big issue. And maybe when I get sad I get dumb; I can’t seem to stop writing broken sentences. And here I wanted to be able to be a writer someday. Kind of a silly thought really, being a writer. Just because my dad writes.
It’s kind of pathetic hearing them laugh outside and just being in my room feeling sorry for myself. But I kind of like this feeling. It’s like acknowledging life in a way. Emotions are so powerful. You can’t really live without them. But yeah, I’m sad. I should really get out more and meet someone. It’s hard though because I’ve gotten all my girlfriends from school and neighbors. I think I’m going to rest my eyes for a bit. The back of my throat hurts and I need to stop thinking about it. It’s only making it worse.
I have “biscuit” qualities but I am NOT a biscuit.. . . . .
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Posted by Tyler40k on 2008-02-10 06:01:43 | Rating: | Views: 99
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unfortunately, i can relate.
ps. whats a biscuit quality?
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Posted by smileforthecamera
on 2008-02-10 13:40:06
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I can relate. I do relate. I will keep to myself and log onto a computer at a party and though I have plenty of people in my life, I feel alone... mostly because in a way I like to be alone, even in a crowd. I'm a loner and I think most aspiring writers and actual writers are just that:misunderstood, loners, like lone cowboys with their horses... I prefer my solitude at times. AND THAT IS NOT PATHETIC LITTLE BUDDY!! Unless, maybe I am pathetic too, but I don't see it like that. You are not alone. I'm right there with you!
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Posted by DRAKEGIRLBLUE
on 2008-02-10 19:11:15
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"But yeah, I’m sad. I should really get out more and meet someone. It’s hard though because I’ve gotten all my girlfriends from school and neighbors. I think I’m going to rest my eyes for a bit" Don't be sad... I used to be preoccupied with getting out there and meeting someone, but it happened for me just like they say: when I was least expecting it and this guy I'm with, I can be alone in a room with him and not have to feel like I have to fill the silence. I'll be on the computer and he'll be watching his hockey on the tv... You will meet someone. I think maybe there's depths to you you might not be ready to reveal to others, but that's what life is sometimes. Sadness is part of being alive, I was sad for most of my adolescence and lonely as a child but you know what: meeting you on this website makes me smile when I read your stuff sometimes when I'm blue. Keep your head up and keep writing... the race is long and in the end, it's only with yourself!!!
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Posted by DRAKEGIRLBLUE
on 2008-02-10 19:16:19
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