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Ponder the fact that too many people out there understand what I have been through and what I'm going through now. Ponder the fact that too many people know the turmoil, nightmares, and fight that I'm going through. Both men and women, even though not too many men will come out and admit that they are a victim, or survivor of abuse. I think it is ashame that too many know where I have been, where I'm at and where I'm going. Why? Do we respect our children, and ourselves, and our fellow humans that little that we can hurt them, rape them, molest them? Do their lives and well being mean that little?
People will fall all over themselves to safe animals and plants, but turn a blind eye to children, to people who are in need. Does that mean my life is worth less than a frog? A tree? I would hope not, because in my eye, everyone of you out there in the world, means more to me than any damn reptile, bird, animal, more than a tree, flower, or weed. I would help another, I would prevent a person from harming another. I would take that risk.
I was lucky I think, because for some reason, I had the ability to shut myself down during those years, or was that a curse? Because now, I'm learning to feel again....not as easy as it seems. I was lucky too, that the two times I was raped, I had a group of guys that "took care" of it. But how come it had to be other teenagers dealing with it? Because at the time, we didn't talk about it because we were not a group of teenagers that would be believed in our small town. What a pity. I really could have used the help.
Now, here I am, and I am dealing with the repercussions. I knew when I shared my story that I wouldn't be the only one, I knew that way before I shared my story because others have shared with me. The saddest thing for me though, is that too many understand where I'm coming from, and I can understand where they are coming from. I wish it wasn't that way, I wish none of this happened to anyone, I wish it wasn't still going on....every day, some one out there in the world is being abused, raped, or molested......When do we do something about this and put an end to it? When do we stop it so that all of this will be nothing but a memory for society as a whole? When? |
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Posted by Truebluedrmr on 2008-07-19 13:00:00 | Rating: | Views: 301
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I wish we could stop it. =(
What we can do though, is offer the kind of help and support that anyone who hasn't been through it can't give. I wished so many times that I'd had someone to talk to. And for years, I kept the entire thing completely to myself.... but once I did start talking, I found lots of people who needed someone just like I had. It's heart-breaking. I grieve for all the people who suffer for others evil whims. Keep talking though! You're probably helping someone more than you know. :)
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Posted by LiveLifeGreen
on 2008-07-19 20:37:21
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It shouldn't be that way though, we shouldn't have to hide what some one else did to us, against our will. I was told once, that when we spoke out, we took their power away. I did the same thing, hid it, ignored it, and pretended it didn't happen. I pretended that I was fine....but I wasn't. Its only now that I speak about it. I don't know if it helps anyone, but maybe it helps others to see they aren't alone. ((HUGS))
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Posted by Truebluedrmr
on 2008-07-20 07:47:47
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You'll get no argument from me that people need to relearn what's really valuable. I can imagine that it's hard to be an optimist at times, given exactly what you went through, the depths of which I'm sure I could never know.
Anything I've ever learned directs me to think that humans, especially children, were made to grow, to thrive, and yet, it's very existential to question if we really are in this place.
Hm... I don't really know you. We're two individuals who would likely never have made contact were it not for the internet, but, with all the limited knowledge I have of you, I sincerely hope that you're taking care.
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Posted by redhawke
on 2008-07-21 08:52:15
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Thank you Redhawke, and the internet is a wonderful thing, bringing people together and giving them the chance to meet another. I am doing ok. I have my moments, as I think we all do=O)
Like you, I don't think we are in that place either. If we were, then there wouldn't be the crap going on that there is. Children, women, and even men would feel comfortable with themselves and others. We should take care of each other, and put those who can't take care of themselves first, but we don't. I was told once that abuse, violence, murder would continue because its human nature. Then we are always told that we are better than animals....but then I have to ask myself, are we?
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Posted by Truebluedrmr
on 2008-07-21 12:37:08
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Your statement, "too many people out there understand what I have been through and what I'm going through now," is so true. I'm one of those who understands from personal experience. I got my memories back twenty-some years ago of being incested by my father when I was just a toddler. Over the years since I got the memories back, I have had many opportunities to bring the subject of incest up with other women, both strangers and acquaintances. It is mind boggling how many women acknowledge similar experiences when they were children and young women. Whether at the hands of a father, stepfather, brother, uncle, mother or other, it is much too common.
It would be so helpful to those who have experienced incest and abuse if people could understand that the affects of this trauma are often, and probably usually, tragic and lifelong. However, there is hope to learn how to handle the affects with therapy and the understanding of family and friends.
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Posted by eLCee
on 2008-07-22 12:36:40
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eLCee, ((hugs)) I am so sorry that you are one of them that understands what I mean first hand. I feel the more that we come out and talk about our experiences, to share, and be there for others, then more will come forward....and what was once hidden will be known to the world.
The trauma and affects from years of abuse, lasts a lifetime. There will always be something there hiding in the shadows. We the survivors can overcome. We can choose to face each day the best we can. I'm not saying that every day will be perfect, because it won't. There will be triggers and such, but we can decide to face those days....with the support of others. ((HUGS))
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Posted by Truebluedrmr
on 2008-07-23 16:12:38
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Bloddintheeyes, thank you =o)
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Posted by Truebluedrmr
on 2008-07-23 16:13:31
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I have had a similar experience. I didn't have anyone to take care of it for me. I went to my mother for help and she not only turned me away but explained that if I did tell, that she would lie, I would be an outcast from my own family and that she would choose my brother-in-law over me. Yup, in-law over her own blood. I can't comprehend how someone could do this to another person nevermind someone failing to help their own child. I pray every day that somehow this will end but I think the same way you do... that we really are animals. It makes me sick.
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Posted by detached
on 2008-07-27 11:42:52
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((Hugs)) I am so sorry for this, that this is happening and you are left alone to deal with it the best you can. I say that, because you are dealing with it in your way...be it good, bad, or otherwise. I know how it feels, and I know what it is like to go through something so horrendous, and have no one to back you up...to support you or believe in you. I have some links that I'll send to you...These sites have helped me out a lot, they are understanding and very helpful. ((Hugs))Please check out these links, even if you feel so hopeless right now.....I so understand and I feel so completely sad and angry that you have to be in this situation...You are not alone.
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Posted by Truebluedrmr
on 2008-07-27 15:29:15
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What a moving entry! I am one of those people who unfortunatly understand what your saying, how you feel..it took me ten years to tell anyone about it, and when I did it was the best moment of my life, my whole world changed... and now My aim is to help others in that position, I have 3 more weeks till I am a certified youth worker and I hope to change the world one kid at a time
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Posted by deepthinker21
on 2008-08-30 15:01:01
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Wow...I applaud you. It is wonderful that that you can take something so horrible and use it to benefit others. You are special...((HUGS))
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Posted by Truebluedrmr
on 2008-08-30 16:30:13
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