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Initially I thought I would do something different this ramadan.... to chase away the feeling of not feeling ramadan...... havnt been able to do much different this year.. since i have been ill....
thought that if I posted what i am doing in ramadan on this blog.. it might help... but I dont think it does... and I dont want to list why or how..... becasue you wont understand unless I explain the whole situation... and I wont.. unless you can connect my brain to the computer and have it download the information without me having to re-think about it again...
I could leave and get out of the situation.... but then again.. I was out of it a few years ago before I came here... and it still didnt make a difference...
hmm.. maybe i am destined to live like this my whole life...not saying this out of depressed feeligns.. but think abou tit.. I have lived diffrerent KINDS of lives in teh past few years... and none of them brought me what i want...... ok fine .. forget what i want...
none of them even brought me close to having a normal ramadan or any celebration with people i care about.. and who care about me.....
is it me?... but I am always trying... I always initiate things.. and even when they agree.. to sit down and have a celebration.. it is a disaster.. because they really dont want to..
Hmm.. interesting... not sure if that means there is something wrong with my luck in life.. or its my test in life................or there is something wrong with me................or something wrong with the people around me.............
And no you dont have to comment .... especially those people who comment and say bad things on other people's blogs...
I am not writing this to get pitty .. or to be noticed... this is more like a letter in a bottle...
I dont know what good it would do ... but it feels a little btter to write it .. and then cast it at sea.......
dont know why it does.. but it feels a bit better...
just a bit...
I find it hard now... to write my letters and cast them at sea here... because I really didnt expect to find nice people on this blog... to make friends.... I was hoping to stay anonemous... then I could write what I like.. and of course.. what i dont like....
but one thing led to another .. and I met nice people... and i dont want to write sad things all the time....... people get bored of sad things....
you have a blog.. you have a face... people know you now...
It would have been simpler if I didnt answer the comments...
then i would have stayed a nobody.....
I am new at this... I didnt know...
not easy writing about all your failings and weaknesses.. if people know you are a muslim...... yes I posted that too..... out of good intentions....
but now .. people will associate these failings with being a muslim... and it should not be so.... I am failing because I ..ME.. am failing in things... or I .. ME am sad... as a human being... not as a muslim....
there is a saying... I dont quiet remember it properly...
but the meaning is....
If I do anything bad.. then attribute it to ME... if I do something good.. attribute it to God.. for he is the one who is teaching me.... although I sometimes fail to listen....
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Posted by Traveler on 2007-09-14 10:27:33 | Rating: | Views: 151
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I have managed to find your music and photo posts. Severus has such BIG eyes but he looks like he should have been named after an Emporer. The music was amazing, to be able to make a sound like that without instrumental support takes great skill.
I have been eating too many dates. Everytime I wanted a cigarette I have had a date and now my tummy rebels!!!!!
lol :)
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Posted by bede
on 2007-09-14 10:56:23
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The music is the recitation of Quran... that is how it is supposed to be read.... many readers of course give it various tones... but I prefer this one... its very peacful... :)
Dates are good for you... but mind you .. you dont over do it... otherwise dates are wonderfully nutritious... better than eating sweets too...
I am gonna try to get some tomorrow ...
yeh severus has such weird looking eyeballs... they are on the outside of his body.... not normal... I would take a picture of them to show you.. if the flash wouldnt blind him so....lol
he went and hid under the filter after I took a few shots ....
poor guy.. LOL
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Posted by Traveler
on 2007-09-14 11:22:08
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:)
Eagle-man.... I like that...
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Posted by Traveler
on 2007-09-15 00:50:54
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