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So, I met a guy. We have been spending some time together. Physically, he is totally my type. I mean, I seriously think he is the hottest/sexiest guy I have ever laid eyes on. That's a dangerous thing. I'm trying to figure out if he's a player, and I am certain that the fact that he is so good looking is bound to cloud my judgment. He's a tricky one to figure out I think. I mean, when we're together I feel like he is genuine... but at the same times some of the things he's said here and there kind of leave me feeling like he may be a player. Not to mention, he is waaaaay into sex in a way I've never seen before. I don't know...
The truth is, I kind of hate myself for liking him. I really wish I didn't. That way, I could walk away pain free when this all blows up. The thing is, it's so new that I don't think I can justify anything other than giving him the benefit of the doubt. I haven't liked someone like this for a long time though. The last time few times I did, I got burned really really badly. And, as a result I ended up in a bad place. Now, I don't trust people easily and put up walls around my heart, but this guy makes me want to let that go... except I am still suspicious. I don't want to be that girl. I don't mind space in a relationship, I'm not saying I need someone to be attached to me 24/7 or constantly updating me on his whereabouts, I just wish I knew this guy well enough to feel like he's not out chasing down some other girl tonight. It's one of those things where my imagination gets the best of me. *example* I texted him about 30 min ago. It's friday night... normal reaction would just be "oh he's probably busy or hanging with his friends... no biggie" ... my actual reaction is "why hasn't he even responded a quick good night.. who is he with that he can't respond? Maybe he's with some other girl... and I am just playing the fool at home thinking of him..."
No one wants to be that paranoid girl. Plus, it's not like I can do anything about it. If I don't act like a rational person I might mess up something potentially good, because I could be way wrong. I just don't know if it is my own past issues making something out of nothing, or if it's my gut/intuition trying to get my attention. I'm tired of being lonely, and really hope it turns out to be nothing. I just can't shake the feeling yet though. eeeeeeeeeergh..
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Posted by TooManyFrogs on 2009-11-06 23:14:41 | Rating: | Views: 7
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