| Tony51203's Blog Comments |
| Posted in
When All Else Fails, God Sends An Angel on 2008-02-27 22:34:01 |
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I wanta agree with the genral sentiments about Angels. Multiple times in my life I've had "Angelic" encounters, usually at the lowest points in my life. Inevitably these encounters gave me the strength to keep on chugging instead of just exiting stage left.
But have you ever wondered, after one of these occasions has passed and things seem to have gotten even worse, if maybe it wasn't an Angel saving your life or sanity, maybe it was more like a demon insuring you're around to continue to suffer?
Like you I'm a very logical and analytical person. I KNOW I'm not completely sane - I've been a chronic depressive diagnosed with bipolar disorder back when it was called Manic Depressive Disorder. That always makes me question my thoughts and feelings - recognizing I'm not sane is the only way I can deal with it.
Consequently, even though at a given time I'm convinced I've been saved by Angelic intervention, I invariably start to question it later - could it have been demonic? Is it all just my insanity?
Thankfully right now I'm on the postive side - had quite a few weeks there where it was going the other way.
At this point in time all I can say is don't ever give up, life is always worth the struggle.
Give me a few weeks and I'll probably be running with you.
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| Posted in
Our Choices on 2008-02-27 22:13:30 |
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Great poem man! Hits the head right on the nail. Been an ever worsening problem in the ol' US of A. The very vocal minority forcing changes in laws and how they're interpreted that just limit our choices more and more.
Time we all spoke up.
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| Posted in
Threesomes or more.... (Plus a free site) on 2008-02-01 22:14:38 |
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couldn't find you're threads babe
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| Posted in
a quickie on 2008-02-01 21:51:43 |
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Hey man, you need to gt over the concern over what others see and start being confident that the you that you're familiar with is more then enough to conquer the world - and screw anyone who's got a problem with it.
Be positive man, know yourself and love yourself. Beconfident - know that you're better then the piece of sh-t over there giving you that disdainful look. To hell with them, you don't need them... because you are you.
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| Posted in
DANgerous Lows... on 2008-02-01 21:38:01 |
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Ma listen to me - I've been there, done that. In fact I'm half there now, again. You 100% articulated my state when it's at it's worst. You need to realize you're cronically depressed, maybe even manic depressive (bipolar in today's terms). Realisation is the first step towards dealing with it. It doesn't help the pain, the doubt, the insanity, but it gives you a route towards dealing with it.
I don't know the final answer - if I did then I wouldn't be constantly cycling towards the drive to cease to exist, but I can say absolutely for certain it will help immensely to talk to someone who can truly understand. Not a bullshit psychologist or crisis center. You need a real friend whom you can be certain loves you fro you and will understand, regardless of the deep darkness you feel inside.
I had one who helped me through my first real episode of this type and if it hadn't been for her I would not exist today.
But watch out that you do not destroy that relationship in the process of getting through this in the here and now - if/when it comes back in the future you will still need someone to listen and help without judging
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| Posted in
Death really is morbid on 2008-02-01 21:26:30 |
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Death isn't morbid - it's just another stage of lie, the final one or the doorway to another (depends on your belief) but it's still just part of the cycle - spring, summer, fall, winter.
Sure it brings pain to those left behind, but it's up to us to take that pain and use it, to strenthen oursleves, focus ourselves and become more then we were.
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| Posted in
Devastion...Seasonal...End...New Beginning... on 2008-02-01 21:18:23 |
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Watch that bipolar - it's a killer for sure. I've been there since it was called manic depressive and those down cycles that lead to cries of I can't do this anymore, I donw want to do this anymore, I won't do this anymore inevitably lead to those ever strengthening temptations to just cease to exist, if it were only that ez.
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| Posted in
another week over on 2008-02-01 21:10:08 |
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I see you, you're real. Small comfort from someone who' most likely not even in your country but at least it's a human touch.
And you should stand corrected - not everyone out there is unworthy of trust.
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| Posted in
hero on 2008-02-01 21:02:02 |
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Get a life. No hero was ever made without risk, pain and effort.
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| Posted in
this is me on 2008-02-01 21:00:23 |
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You got it girl!
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| Posted in
tired on 2008-02-01 20:56:21 |
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Hey man, I get it. I really do. been there, in one form or another, and done that.
You sound like your youg - take an experieced word and do it now - break out of your shell and MAKE them all recognize you, the real you. You gotta thimb your nose at the world and strut out on stage with complete confidence in who you are, total love for the you that you knwo is inside... and to hell with anyone who can't buy it.
If you wait too long it becomes ingrained, it takes over the you that exists inside and sooner or later that you becomes what the world sees and not what you know to exist in your heart.
You can't depend on anyone but yourself, at least until you force yourself upon the world.
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