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| Tony51203's Blogs in September 2009
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Sept 1, 2009
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It's been a tough couple of days. The depression is back with a vengeance and it's been hard to function. I've really had to buckle down and force myself to move and even then stasis cries out to me.
The thing is back full blown with all of the usual symptoms, suicidal impulses, self hatred,......Read More
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Posted on: 2009-09-01 11:53:32 |
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Views: 28 |
Comments: 4 | Tags:
journal
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Darkness reigns supreme
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The darkness reigns supreme
The light just can't defeat
The dark that's there always.
Of that dark there is no retreat.
Like a veil it shadows my world,
Covering all in shadows so black,
So deep that no light touches there.
It lies there ever ready to attack
Deep and black,......Read More
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Posted on: 2009-09-01 18:59:05 |
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Views: 21 |
Comments: 0 | Tags:
poetry
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Have you ever, revisited
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Have you ever stood in a hole so deep
That the light just can't reach you
And it's darker then black,
It's darker then midnight too
Have you ever felt you were drowning
While lost in the dark of that hole
You're swallowing the darkness
With each breath in that hole
Have you......Read More
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Posted on: 2009-09-01 19:22:23 |
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Views: 28 |
Comments: 3 | Tags:
poetry
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Sept 2, 2009
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I'm doing marginally better this morning. The tears are under control as are the insane thoughts and the suicidal impulses. Still quite a bit down though.
I woke this morning right into a panic attack. I took a pill for it then tried to get a shower. In the past a nice warm shower has helped......Read More
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Posted on: 2009-09-02 12:16:55 |
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Views: 25 |
Comments: 1 | Tags:
journal
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Sept 3, 2009
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I'm in a never never land today, that in between place where you're not really depressed but you just don't feel right. My mind's still functioning like it's mired in molasses, the knot in my stomach is still hurting big time, I feel like I'm moving in water. Still feeling a bit depressed but......Read More
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Posted on: 2009-09-03 10:15:22 |
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Views: 46 |
Comments: 5 | Tags:
journal
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Sept 4, 2009
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I'm feeling good today all things considered. Still sort of in that never never land and I don't feel quite myself but I'm a lot closer then yesterday. Don't know what's wrong with me, I'm not used to feeling this way. Depression, mania, yeah I'm used to them. But I'm not used to this feeling......Read More
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Posted on: 2009-09-04 11:56:52 |
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Views: 22 |
Comments: 1 | Tags:
journal
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An insane summer
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Wow. Labor day. Summer's almost over. Boy did that go fast. With it's going it seems to be taking the worst of my insanity.
This entire summer's been a blur for me. I've spent almost the entire summer struggling to remain sane, losing that battle more often then I'd care to admit.
The......Read More
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Posted on: 2009-09-05 10:22:14 |
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Views: 26 |
Comments: 2 | Tags:
summer ends
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A picnic at the park
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We took both my daughter's and their families out for a picninc today. My son was invited too with his girlfriend but they both had to work. We bought everyone hoagies, a big bag of chips, a big jug of iced tea for the adults and juices for the kids.
We took them to National park by the......Read More
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Posted on: 2009-09-06 21:01:55 |
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Views: 34 |
Comments: 3 | Tags:
grandkids
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Sept 10, 2009
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Generally speaking I've been doing good. I haven't exactly been myself for the past few days but I've been holding my own. When I say I haven't been myself I refer to that strange feeling of just not being right. I haven't quite been right for the past 2 or 3 days. I've been of of sorts, not......Read More
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Posted on: 2009-09-10 13:07:10 |
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Views: 37 |
Comments: 4 | Tags:
journal
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Sept 11, 2009
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The mild depression of yesterday has continued and deepened. The tears are back but not the suicidal impulses. I'm working on insane again. My head is full of wild, crazy thoughts. I can't look myself in the face without the urge to hit myself, to hurt myself. A little while ago I was banging my......Read More
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Posted on: 2009-09-11 08:41:33 |
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Views: 29 |
Comments: 1 | Tags:
journal
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