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| Tony51203's Blogs in August 2009
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Aug 1, 2009
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Feeling good this morning. The energy burst of last night has worn off. I was up tills almost 1 then awake again this morning at 5:30 but I slept well without waking up once. So I guess I'm ahead of the curve.
I partied a little too hard last night so I'm a bit slow this morning but I feel......Read More
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Posted on: 2009-08-01 08:05:18 |
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Views: 18 |
Comments: 2 | Tags:
journal
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Panic attack?
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As good as I was doing last night and this morning, that's how bad I'm doing right now. I'm alone in the apartment and if you know me you know how badly I do when I'm alone. Add to that how much I hate the apartment and you have a clue to how badly I'm doing. My wife went out and I was supposed......Read More
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Posted on: 2009-08-01 13:40:37 |
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Views: 30 |
Comments: 5 | Tags:
panic attack
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Fuck it
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Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. I'm fcuking losing it here. I'm motehr fucking outta contorl. I'm gonna edn up fucking hrting myself. I'm way over the fucking edge adn I can't eveen hang the fuck on. I'm fucking gong right outta my eeverfucking mind! Fuk fuck fcuk! I cant do tihs......Read More
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Posted on: 2009-08-01 13:52:45 |
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Views: 1 |
Comments: 0 | Tags:
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Emotions that are me
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I don't know what to do. I, as a human, have certain feelings and emotions. While they may be somewhat controllable they are in large part beyond my control. I can hide them, sometimes, I can bottle them up inside of myself, sometimes, I can grit my teeth and keep them under control, again......Read More
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Posted on: 2009-08-01 20:32:40 |
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Views: 77 |
Comments: 4 | Tags:
emotions
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Post-meltdown
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I had a meltdown this afternoon. I had a major panic attack and damn near lost it all. It was about the most severe attack I can remember, combining elements of insanity with the usual attack symptoms. I was going insane enough that I once again was contemplating suicide, maybe burning......Read More
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Posted on: 2009-08-01 22:11:14 |
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Views: 25 |
Comments: 4 | Tags:
panic attack
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The thought for the day
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Hello cruel world!
Just wanted to say that, to say hello to this cold and heartless world! LMAO
In reality I wanted to say hello to this wonderful world we live in. So hello out there! Don't be a stranger!
In case you can't tell I'm feeling very good today. We have some nasty......Read More
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Posted on: 2009-08-02 13:34:16 |
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Views: 26 |
Comments: 2 | Tags:
truth
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Forever
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You say goodbye
When I say hello
I say why
When you say to go
Forever and a day
Forever ended on June 7th
The extra day ended on the 8th
Always and forever... and a day
It turned out to be so short
But know this
When I said forever and a day
I meant it
When I said......Read More
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Posted on: 2009-08-02 13:38:11 |
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Views: 22 |
Comments: 0 | Tags:
forever
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don't read this
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Excuse thise and please don't read it. More then any other post in recent history this is written by me to get it out. It is not written for general consumption and you may find it a bit insane and broken jointed.
I'm frigging losing it this afternoon, big time. I've been alone virtually all......Read More
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Posted on: 2009-08-02 18:17:34 |
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Views: 38 |
Comments: 8 | Tags:
insanity
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dunno
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Fuck it man, I'm moither ficuking losing it. I'km going right over the fiucking edge. I'm going right over the fuckonmg top or under the fucking bottiom. I'm otuta mother fucking control. I'm fucking losing it and I'm gonna lose it even more, I've gonna off myself, I can feel it comeing. I'm......Read More
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Posted on: 2009-08-02 18:38:44 |
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Views: 6 |
Comments: 0 | Tags:
dunno
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Dunno retraction
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I'm sorry about the ost "dunno" posted a few minutes ago. It wasn't until I saw the number of views going up that I realized I hadn't posted it "me only". It was only intended for my eyes. It was a way of getting this crap out of me and away before it poisons me too much. It......Read More
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Posted on: 2009-08-02 18:55:21 |
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Views: 21 |
Comments: 2 | Tags:
apologies
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