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| Tony51203's Blogs in May 2009
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Stability is beckoning
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I am feeling much btter this morning. First time in over a week.
A crack, the tiniest crack, has appeared in the isolation shell I've built around me. Though it's only tiny through it has streamed in the light.
I'm still cycling but the scale of the cycles has moved upward. Now when I'm......Read More
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Posted on: 2009-05-01 05:35:56 |
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Views: 27 |
Comments: 0 | Tags:
normalcy is coming
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The cheshire cat
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When is it ok to give it all up?
When is it ok to be all alone?
Is it possible to do this
Without having to atone?
How many years must go by
Before you're locked in?
When leaving it all is
nothing but a sin?
How much wasted time must go by?
Does it ever get any easier......Read More
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Posted on: 2009-05-01 06:27:58 |
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Views: 54 |
Comments: 2 | Tags:
poetry
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Sitck it - or I am up for once
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I just watched an episode of NCIS that really got me fired up. Magee was directed by Gibbs to tell the asst secretary of state to stick... and he DID! I frigging loved it! All I could think was stick it! How many people have you wanted to tell to stick it? You have to get that report done by......Read More
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Posted on: 2009-05-01 20:34:26 |
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Views: 53 |
Comments: 2 | Tags:
Stick it
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May 2, 2009
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I am feeling so much better. It's a miracle. Last night I was actually happy, so happy that I was giddy. I was laughing and smiling, smiling all the way to my eyes. Energy levels were back up, mood was 1000 perecent better. I wasn't empty, I was full of light, and love, and life.
The light......Read More
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Posted on: 2009-05-02 08:38:00 |
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Views: 54 |
Comments: 3 | Tags:
Journal
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What I'm going to tell the psychiatrist
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I was diagnosed as being bipolar about 10 years ago right after my first suicide attempt. I believe I'm BP II with a strong bend towards depression. At that time I was cycling between extreme full blown mania and psychosis and extreme depression. I had progressed from this being a weekly cycle......Read More
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Posted on: 2009-05-02 10:36:13 |
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Views: 14 |
Comments: 0 | Tags:
confessions for the doctor
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For me only
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------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------ ---------------------------------------------------------......Read More
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Posted on: 2009-05-02 19:12:30 |
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Views: 1 |
Comments: 0 | Tags:
for me only
love
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A good day
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Oh it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day in the neighbohood, would you be my, could you be my, won't you be my neighbor. Do you remember Mr Roger's neighborhood? My kids grew up to that song and show.
That's how I feel today. It may be raining and dreary outside but......Read More
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Posted on: 2009-05-03 10:30:15 |
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Views: 43 |
Comments: 2 | Tags:
great day
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Signs of a marriage gone bad
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<img src="http://www.thoughts.com/index.php?_action=photo_sh ow&id=117322" alt="Bad Marriage 1">
<img src="http://www.thoughts.com/index.php?_action=photo_sh ow&id=117323" alt="Bad Marriage 2">
<img......Read More
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Posted on: 2009-05-05 06:03:26 |
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Views: 50 |
Comments: 0 | Tags:
marriage
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May 5, 2009
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I'm doing really well all things considered. No signs of depression, no signs of mania. I have the pdoc visit coming up and it's starting to worry me again. I know I typed up what I though I should tell him, I'm just not sure I can go through with it. I'ts difficult to tell a complete stranger......Read More
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Posted on: 2009-05-05 06:29:36 |
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Views: 69 |
Comments: 3 | Tags:
journal
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You don't know...
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You don't know what it's like to be empty inside
To be breathing and moving but hollow inside
You don't know the sound of your thoughts echoing in your head
Nor do you know what it's like to not be able to get out of bed
You don't know how the darkness of forever waits for you
How......Read More
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Posted on: 2009-05-05 14:29:33 |
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Views: 59 |
Comments: 1 | Tags:
poetry
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