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| Tony51203's Blogs in April 2009
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I'm back
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I'm back from California. We had some beautiful weather and I had a great time.
I got to ride the cable cars. Maybe that wasn't an experience. Hanging on to the side, passing other cable cars so close that you thought you were going to be wiped right off the side. The hills there are......Read More
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Posted on: 2009-04-03 06:33:51 |
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Views: 36 |
Comments: 2 | Tags:
San Fransisco
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The beast
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I don't know if it's jet lag or what but I feel that friggin beasty coming back back to life. He's sort of been bouncing around inside me all me all day but tonight he's flaring up pretty good. Frigging depression, it's coming back.
You know what, I'm tired of rolling over to this God damned......Read More
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Posted on: 2009-04-03 20:28:56 |
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Views: 27 |
Comments: 1 | Tags:
rambles
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April 4, 2009
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God I'm tired. I'm fed up with this crap. I'm irritable as all hell and I've had enough.
I want to say I just don't give a f**k anymore but that's not true. I do care. Very deeply I do.
I have to watch myself today. I'm in quite a mood. That black hole is up there ahead of me and I can......Read More
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Posted on: 2009-04-04 09:10:08 |
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Views: 73 |
Comments: 5 | Tags:
Journal
Depression
Bipolar
quitting
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I'm fucked up
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What is wrong with me? Seriously, I ask what the fuck is wrong with me?
My wife has told me she's leaving me... and I feel nothing more then a mild sense of loss. After 30 years I should feel more then that. It's like I'm numb inside and can't feel anymore.
I almost feel a sense of......Read More
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Posted on: 2009-04-04 17:26:31 |
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Views: 55 |
Comments: 2 | Tags:
insanity
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Posted on: 2009-04-04 17:54:07 |
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Views: 48 |
Comments: 3 | Tags:
losing my mind
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April 5, 2009
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I feel alot better today and I'm sorry for losing it yesterday. The deprssion's still here but at least I'm not losing it like I was.
I had a hell of a time getting out of bed this morning. I kept rolling over and going back to sleep. I did not want to get up. I still don't want to have to......Read More
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Posted on: 2009-04-05 10:49:31 |
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Views: 40 |
Comments: 1 | Tags:
Journal
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Fireproof
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This is an unbelievable movie. It has a book to go with it, called The Love Dare.
I don't yet have the book but you can be sure I'm going to buy it.
The movie was all about how to love. How love requires work and dedication. It's an example of how the love dare can save a relationship.......Read More
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Posted on: 2009-04-05 20:59:41 |
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Views: 41 |
Comments: 1 | Tags:
inspirational
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It's getting beter
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Well it's better today then yesterday and yesterday was better then the one before. That's what coints, ech day is an improvement. I'm still smating over the situation with my wife but even that seems to be working out. She's back sleeping in the same room with me now in addition to talking to......Read More
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Posted on: 2009-04-06 06:31:41 |
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Views: 47 |
Comments: 2 | Tags:
manic depression
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Reach out and touch someone
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I just read EasyToSay's post about her coworker who took his own life. It was so moving. Having been there and tried that it touched me so deeply.
I can imagine the depths of despair he must have sunk to. I know the feeling first hand. I know the loneliness and desperation that......Read More
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Posted on: 2009-04-07 06:24:42 |
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Views: 58 |
Comments: 4 | Tags:
reach out and touch someone
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Losing you
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Alone again, so alone
Sorry for this feeling
I can never atone
My every sense is reeling
With the pain of alone
I love you my dear
I wish I could tell you
To have not a fear
I'll be here for you
So don't shed a tear
But we both know the score
Of this game is zero
Our......Read More
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Posted on: 2009-04-08 19:43:25 |
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Views: 43 |
Comments: 2 | Tags:
poetry
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