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Tony51203's Blogs in July 2008

It hurts so good
Have you ever had a memory that's so poignant, so powerful and beautiful yet so bitter and painful that you're really not sure how to handle it? One of those memories that makes you smile, not grin but whole heartedly smile, ear to ear, at the same time you feel tears well up in your eyes?......Read More

Posted on: 2008-07-01 20:44:22 | Rating:

| Views: 62 | Comments: 2 | Tags: good bad and beautiful

The pool table of life
We bounce around inside our lives like like balls on this great billiards table we call earth. We all have our goals, our targets, the pockets at which we're aimed. Sometimes we roll right onward and land directly in the pocket but more often we encounter other balls along the way, collisions......Read More

Posted on: 2008-07-06 12:57:13 | Rating:

| Views: 67 | Comments: 6 | Tags: life friends

Depressed again?
I'm exhibiting all of the classic signs of a deepening depression without the deep, debilitating sadness. For days now I've been without energy. It's all I can do to make myself do anything then once I start something it only takes the tiniest setback to dishearten me to the point where i......Read More

Posted on: 2008-07-09 23:29:37 | Rating:

| Views: 83 | Comments: 7 | Tags: depression BP risperdal

My life goes on without me
Well I'm over that! just got back from the Poconos and what a trip it was! Or i should say what a trip it wasn't! 'twas boring with a capitol B! But while I was gone it seems my life was running away on it's own! So much happened, so much went on, I don't think I need to be inside......Read More

Posted on: 2008-07-13 19:37:00 | Rating:

| Views: 43 | Comments: 6 | Tags: weekend

Phase 2 in my battle against BP?
This is the latest update in the saga of my battle against BP. If you've been following along then you know I've recently had a fairly bad period of depression, real and total depression, not the combo manic-depressive state that is common to my manifestation of this beast. Well I'm happy to......Read More

Posted on: 2008-07-17 20:02:50 | Rating:

| Views: 151 | Comments: 9 | Tags: BP lexapro risperdal

Decision made
Well that's it, I've done it. Or more properly I've done nothing. I committed myself to staying with the status quo rather then pursue the life changes I believe I need. Why you might ask? I'd have to answer that I don't really know. Fear i think, fear of the unknown. I think when it came......Read More

Posted on: 2008-07-23 06:47:26 | Rating:

| Views: 24 | Comments: 2 | Tags: choices stupidity

Lexapro update
The lexapro seems to working somewhat. While I've been experiencing some depressive symptoms once again they're relatively minor compared to the last bout. The symptoms I've been experiencing again are sleeping alot, inability or difficulty getting moving to actually do anything, a tendency to......Read More