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It would seem that it is those who are slowly being destroyed inside are the ones who create the most beautiful things.
 
I wish I were a beautiful man. Pretty girls are eyes to come by, but a beautiful man is rare, and has an exotically unique desireableness. Besides, I am rather plain, even ugly, for a girl anyhow, but if I look at myself as a boy I see a beautiful and desireable object. I want to be a creature so beautiful that it is painful to look at and yet one that you can not tear your eyes away from without feeling a great sense of longing.
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I think you knew that I loved you when you did those things to me because it made me beautiful. Not a beautiful painted dol...beautiful. Beautiful and naked, beautiful and unashamed, honest, a whore...your beautiful whore. And I loved you for that. Even though I hated you and still hate you, I loved you for that. And that is why I could not free myself from you then.
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People who are being destroyed are the ones who are most beautiful. I wanted to be beautiful and that is why I am destroying myself. Sometimes I wish I could go back and smile innocently and honestly again. But I can't. But, at least, for you I know I can smile honestly.
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Posted by Tokubi on 2007-10-15 13:56:25 | Rating: | Views: 127
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This is absolutly one of the most amazing things I have ever read! Did you right this? If so, I give you much props.
Love the I want to be a beautiful boy part. Pretty deep!
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Posted by kissingchaos77
on 2008-05-27 16:43:17
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o.o Indeed. I write everything in my journal. Stuff that is not written by me, I will probably specify.
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Posted by Tokubi
on 2008-05-31 15:47:24
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