Recently, I found out my best friend in the entire world is gay. I had to find out of this news by reading his myspace blog. This guy is the perfect guy for me. Im in love with him. He even asked me to be his girlfriend before this happened and i declined out of fear of losing him. Well i think i lost even more now. He has no idea that i love him soo much or that i would die for him. when i found out the news i cried for two days straight and anytime anyone mentions it i cry. I mean i fully support him because he is my best friend and ill be there for him no matter how much it hurts me. Its just that sometimes i dont think he is gay. he comes from a troubled home and lives a very confusing life. He never talks about being gay, liking guys, being with guys, talking to guys...anything. i even try to get him to talk about it by asking him opinions on guys that i pretend to like. he never comments on them. now i know he isnt shy or afraid to talk to me. we have been together since the 2nd grade and we know everything there is to know about one another. thats why i took this news as a shock. i didnt see it coming ....a part of him i didnt know...i part of him i still dont believe is there. maybe im just pretending it isnt there b/c i want it not to be sooo badly. i want to marry this guy. this is the guy for me. he is the one ive always wanted. how it could it turn out like this. how could i possibly win him back now? He always says that we will end up getting married and being together forever b/c we always have been. He has no idea how much i really want that to happen. how can i tell him? theres no way i could tell him? it could ruin everything we have built together. should i go on pretending with him ?? should i let him know how i really feel? i mean i hint it a lot. i tell him that anyone would be lucky to have him and that he is the greatest guy ive ever met. god....i want him sooo badly. what do i do????????