Thoughts.com Blogs - Ramblings from a Buffalo fan

View Blog

Ramblings from a Buffalo fan

Being a Buffalo sports fan is a passion play. I dont know what it is that makes us so rabid, so invested, so emotionally attached to the players and the games, but there are some possibilities. The economy has sucked in Buffalo since...well, since Ive been alive, and pretty much the whole time my mother has been alive. The weather doesn't need to be stated, if you arent from buffalo, you know what the winters are like, and if you are from buffalo, you understand that there is a certain amount of pride in the weather, that we are somehow tougher because we choose to stay in that area and suffer through high taxes, lake effect snow and constant heartache from your teams.

I inhereted this obsession through no fault my own, thanks to my Grandparents deciding to leave Steelers country (thank god) for blue collar careers in our buffalo suburb. My first Buffalo sports memory was beating the raiders 51-3 in the afc championship in 1991, and it pretty much has been downhill ever since. One week later my mom put me to bed at halftime of super bowl xxv and when I woke up the next morning for first grade, I asked my mother who won, to which she replied the giants, thanks to scott norwood shanking a 47 yarder. My response: "its okay, theyll win next year."

How naive and stupid that was, especially considering I was somewhat of a freakish prodigy at age 6.

There is a type of fatalism that has been instilled in me thanks to being a Bills and Sabres fan, an expectation for the worst while somehow letting yourself have that glimmer of hope. Homerun Throwback, No Goal, Phantom Goal, Jay Mckees freakish staph infection, Willie Parkers coming out party and now it seems we'll have Trent Edwards concussion. To me it is simply being slapped back to reality after allowing yourself to have hope. I was driving back to Penn State earlier and listening to the Bills pregame and I found myself getting chills and for a second I imagined what it would be like it this year was THE year, of standing at some bar or house with all of my friends and watching the clock hit all zeros, trent edwards raising the ball in the air as my bills stormed the field and it dawned on me what my natural reaction would be: I would absolutely bawl my eyes out in joy, and I have never cried tears of happiness in my life. It would be the final resolution of everything Ive invested over the years in my teams, of everything finally working out after so many years of being punched in the stomach.

There is a greater problem when the success or failure of your team(s) intertwine with everything else that is going on in your life. My first kiss was during Game 3 of the 1999 stanley cup finals and even then, at this momentous new experience, I had one eye open on the television to see if my Sabres could take the series lead. In early 2004, me and 3 friends got 8th row tickets on the 50 yard line to watch the 9-6 bills play the 14-1 steelers, who were playing their backup players. We took the lead and it seemed that finally, something would break our way. I can sum up the results in two quotes:
Red Dog: If Rian Lindell misses this kick, Im killing his family
Pittsburgh girl i was seeing after the game via text: ": *"

Then there was 2006, when i was CONVINCED there was a certain plan laid out for the Sabres. It was my last year at St. Bonaventure and the sabres were heavy underdogs to ottawa (I remember watching a buf-ott game earlier in the year with liz and just shaking my head and saying to her "they [ottawa] are soo good."). It was the last 10 days of my college life with an overtime win during a senior mixer and jason pominvilles entrance into buffalo lore at a friends house in ellicottville the night before I graduated. I didnt want to go to bed that nite, it seemed perfect, I was with a girl i loved, partying with my best college friends and the sabres were headed to the eastern conference finals. I allowed myself to believe and like every other time I allowed such a thing in my fandom, it was a massive error. Long story short, buffalo loses 5 defenseman against carolina, takes a 2-1 lead into the 3rd period of game 7, rory shitzpatrick loses the puck between his legs and I end up a drunken mess on the sidewalk outside my house. It was all falling into place, and suddenly, inexplicibly, its gone.

I have seen such events warp the psyche of friends to the point where they are simply apathetic about these teams. Some would say thats easier and I certainly understand where theyre coming from. But once you enter that mindset, whats the point? What if they someday win, whether its the Sabres in overtime of game 7 at hsbc arena or the bills kicking a field goal as time runs out in some stadium down south, what about when everyone around you is in a state of euphoria that only the best illicit drugs can provide, and you feel nothing but dull satisfaction? As much as I hate it, I cant go that way, just because if it does ever happen, Id like to soak it in. Plus, I think its more rewarding to follow teams that break your heart than be "that guy," who is basically what lebron james has admitted to being growing up (see: cleveland kid, fan of yankees, bulls, cowboys in the 90s...you knew a kid like that when you were growing up, and wasnt he almost ALWAYS a huge douchebag?)

But for now its a delicate balance between that far off dream of a title and expecting the bills to drop 4 straight, the sabres to miss the playoffs, and penn state to drop a couple games to end hopes of a national title for my school. To channel High Fidelity, I don't know what came first, whether I was a pessimistic fatalist before attaching myself to these teams, or whether these teams helped turn me into that person who allows that fatalism and pessimism to transcend the sports world and affect everything around me from a career to relationships. On a side note, I do relate to my philly friends here, although I notice a couple differences, namely that they do actually have championships in their past, albeit not in their lifetime.

Couple final things:
-im pretty happy Ive converted goldenboy from a Free Shoe University fan (thats florida state) to penn state fan after his visit. Hopefully the guys come back down, mostly because goldenboy forgot to throw the satillite dish off my balcony as I promised he could if penn state beat illinois.

-I think im gonna get drunk tonite. I have a presentation to do on some case tomorrow but I figure either a) ill email the professor and skip or b) ill just put together the presentation for the first 90 minutes or so of class then present during the last half hour

-I really need to get to a scanner, I have 2 full albums of pictures of me and friends in the era of 2000-2005 and Im dying to get them on facebook. Unfortunately, who the fuck uses a scanner anymore?

-I am debating halloween weekend. The plan right now is for me, my roommate, and 2 other friends dressing up and looking/acting like 4 of the bigger tools in the Dickinson School of Law. However, Forbes' brother in law is having a massive blowout back home and Ive never done a halloween at home.

-Floor hockey starts soon and the law school team is ready to go, I however am not so ready, considering my lung capacity is barely better than that of an 80 year old man

Final final thing:

TOP 5 BUFFALO SPORTS HEARTBREAKS OF MY LIFE
1) Carolina Game 7, 2006
2) Home Run Throwback
3) Darius Kasperitis, game 7 2001
4) Steelers keep bills from playoffs, 2004
5) Cowboys score 11 points in 30 seconds, beat bills on MNF

TOP 5 BUFFALO SPORTS MOMENTS OF MY LIFE
1) "Jason Pominville, shorthanded!"
2) Flutie runs around left end, scores td with no time left against Jacksonville, 1999
3) Game 5 2007, drury scores w/ 7.7 seconds left
4) MAY DAY! (only not higher since i was 9 yrs old)
5) Game 1, Buffalo 7, Ottawa 6, 2006