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Live at the RNC Day 2

Alright so I wanted to start this before romneys speech but i took a 4 hour nap and had to read 16 pages (law school is hard). My stomach kinda hurts- fuck you wendys- so these busch heavies may not be a good idea and my sales class at 945 am may pay for it.

Without further adieu,
915pm: Just in time for the first USA chant during mitt romneys speech.

916pm: Romney has never been not proud too be an american, likely because firing americans has provided him with his fortune. Plus, according to Mormonism, Jesus lived in America and whos gonna knock Jesus' homeland?

917pm: It just struck me that I napped through Erie County executive Chris Collins speaking at 8pm. You know the GOP is struggling for speakers when they give an 8pm slot to a guy presiding over a county millions of dollars in debt and a city suffering from unemployment, crime and racial issues. However, he is going to be planning the sabres victory parade next june so i should shut up

923pm: When they show crowd shots between speakers, watching people dance is probably the best part. I really dont know who is worse, democrats are republicans; i mean the dancers at the dnc were hilarious but they were at least really into it, kinda like me after 4 shots at skybar. Here the republicans really arent dancing at all. I dont know if thats cuz they know theyre bad or if theyre worried they might make contact with someone of the same sex or throw their hip out.

926pm: post interview with romney, who leads off with the hypothetical of the president dropping dead on the first day.

926pm: Mike Huckabee is now speaking and makes a reference to the civil rights movement, which the crowd surprisingly does not boo.

930pm: "some things we dont want to change: freedom" Now thats a relief, I was worred the next president would sell us to Al-Queda for 40 virgins or a couple hours with eliot spitzers hooker

932pm: "I was in college when I found out its not supposed to hurt to take a shower" Insert joke here.

934pm: In the interest of not being biased, palin getting more votes in that town in alaska than biden did for president is a poignant stat. But Joe Biden cant dress a moose.

939pm: Long story about how veterans earned desks for a classroom in arkansas. First, I didnt know that we received desks after we won wars, and second at least the earned something cuz they sure arent earning health care, time with their family or their own security for that matter

943pm: Jody clarifies that the joe biden stat is flat out wrong, as well as the time huckabee said that lincoln founded the republican party.

1001pm: Rudy guliani arrives to boos and the obligatory view of new york.

1003pm: STOP CHANTING USA!!! The olympics are over!!!

1005pm" Breaking news: john mccain is an american hero, a fire pilot, and his plane was shot down and he was tortured...did you also know jerome bettis is from detroit and barack obama is black?

1006pm: Jody- "he wasnt enough of a hero to not get shut down. Im going to hell."

1007pm: Guliani knocks obama for his ivy league education and apparently a community organizer is a bad thing to do. Nevermind that the last president was ivy league "educated"

1013pm: there is good change and bad change...aaaand the speech goes off the rails
1013pm: im waiting for huckabee to leave to find the buffet to start looking like the 2004 huckabee

1015pm: Is "drill baby drill" really a smart chant? Is this a warm up for sarah palin to lead a bataan death march to anwar??

1016pm: SEPTEMBER 11TH. THAT IS ALL. (im convinced)

1017pm: al-queda! (gumble grumble grumble grumble)

1022pm: alright shes kinda hot jailbait, but stop showing bristol palin laughing at jokes about the security council of the UN, most americans dont know about the security council, do u think a slutty 17 year old from alaska does?

1024pm: who let the angry black man in?
jody: they turned the cameras off him so they could drag him out.

1026pm: Palin has shakin up alaska more than maybe anything ever. Except maybe that caribou civil war of the 1890's. But we dont like to talk about that.

1029pm: Sarah Palin arrives as her baby gets slowly passed down the mccain family aisle

1032pm: John Mccain knows how to win tough fights. Except in the Hanoi Hilton. (Okay now Im going to hell)

1036pm: Palins son track (or trac) is shown. If we cant trust this woman with naming kids, how can we trust her with being vp
1037pm: The babys name is TRIG! What the fuck.

New IM from a friend watching at home:
4 4 (10:35:35 PM): are you watching these idiots?
Auto Response from 007 (10:35:37 PM): blogging the rnc and drinking gold tops
4 4 (10:36:37 PM): what a bunch of idiots
4 4 (10:36:37 PM): although shes def a milf
4 4 (10:37:09 PM): and her daught has HUGE tits

1040pm: Palins mom is taking a tip from mccain and not raising her arms

1042pm: Palins young daughter is stroking the babys head and Im holding my breath waiting for an "Of Mice and Men" moment where she breaks the babys head like Lenny with that mouse

1045pm: Palin blames the media for the calls against her inexperience, and not her 20 months removed from mayor of a town of 6000. Look out everyone, Mayor Ron Pilozzi of Tonawanda, NY will make a hell of a VP come 2012.

1049pm: the young daughters now poking the baby in the eye.

1049pm: budget surplus in alaska, jodys response: "we got our first running water but luckily the rest of the state doesnt have it so we saved money"

1050pm: CNN comes through with a total shot of the teleprompter. If this were a test, CNN's would get thrown out for cheating

1055pm: Rudy Guliani takes the seat next to cindy mccain. Apparently bristol palin had to blow her boyfriend in the bathroom.

1059pm: There are people who use the word "change" to advance their careers. (meanwhile, there are otheres who instead use the word "maverick" to advance their careers)

1103pm: Apparently John Mccain is the only one who has ever "fought" for me. Nevermind that my mother was 13 years old when he was shot down. Although, I do have these nice desks at the law school to thank him for apparently.

1108pm: Palin ends speech. Verdict: Still, a MILF

1111pm: WHOA, FAKE OUT! Mccain is here aaaaand says nothing but "how bout that vice president?" good thing he got out of his slippers and robe for that.

Alright, time to drink more gold tops and watch the post report...be back tomorrow for mccains speech and some much heavier pregaming.