Beginning of a long overnight shift at work and I find myself hurt, upset, and frustrated...with no one to talk to.  Thank the gods for this little journal where I can vent all that out with no fear of retribution.

Let's start with a little background instead of right in the middle so I can stay focused and anyone that stumbles on this randomly isn't confused.  Back in 2000 my mother was in a head on collision that has left her disabled and in physical therapy.  Since the accident she has fallen multiple times which (in addition to her diabetes) has caused very slow healing.

My brother left home to live with friends and my real father before he was even out of highschool causing a major rift in the family and leaving me to deal with my mother and step-father all on my lonesome.  With my mother's latest fall and broken bone my brother was let back into the house on the condition that he got a job.  He had one...and recently lost it.  Things between him and my mother are shakey at best.

Now, with my brother being gone, step-father working three jobs, and my mothers injuries and subsequent disability...I get left to pick up a lot of slack around the house.  With my brother back in the house, I figured I might just get some help doing things.  (My step-father believes he doesn't have to do anything around the house because he works three jobs.  Two of which I call "fun jobs" which are working as ushers at the baseball stadium and hockey arena.)  Now, when my mother realizes that my brother does absolutely nothing...guess who she asks to do the things he won't.  And if I ask her to wait till I am done doing my things, she gets upset at me.

I feel like I am being used by my own family.  All this got set off tonight when I woke up to come into work for my overnight shift.  I usually take a nap on Friday nights because I work eleven pm Friday night to seven am Saturday morning.  I wake up sometime around 10 to get to work on time.

When I went to lay down, after fixing myself and my boyfriend something to eat, my brother was drinking in the basement with some of his friends.  When I woke up, with plenty of time to get to work, I am told by my mother that I need to take one of my brother's friends home...which is the opposite way from work.

Of course I am a little upset, he could have asked me before I went to lay down...or briefly woken me up and asked me to get up a little earlier to do it (which he has done before).  Instead, they don't /ask/...they /tell/.  When I start to explain that I am leaving for work in less than 5 minutes, and that this kid lives in the opposite direction than work...I am told that I am being a bitch and to stop complaining.

And they wonder why I got upset?  I took the kid home and was nearly late for work.  But I am a bitch apparently for expecting a little curtesy from my own family?  It happens alot lately and I don't know exactly what to do.

The other day, my mother asked my friend (who lives with us and pays rent to my parents) to vaccuum the living room while I took her to therapy.  He flat out told her that he wouldn't do it because he doesnt vaccuum...and said he would ask my brother to do it.  When we got home my brother hadn't even gotten out of bed and I had somewhere to go.  But yet I was asked to do it instead, and when I asked why she would not wake my brother up to have him do it (considering it's almost one pm at this point), I got yelled at and told that I never do anything to help.

It's like...from my point of view anyway...that because I have been there and have done it for years...they expect me to do it forever...and because my brother hasn't been around, and hasn't done anything, they dont expect him to do anything so it's ok for him to say no...but when I say no I am being bitchy.

Any suggestions?  Am I really being that unreasonable?