So I sit here and wonder, what has been going on in my mind for so long now? What do I want? Why would I think all these things that I think every day? Loose lips and fingertips sink ships with missprints or hearts in hands and blood on the ground from where u threw mine away!

what I said: 

Ill take the hint after u take this note into consideration. I cant tell u I love u anymore, not because I dont but because I love u so much that words wont do. But Ill just keep my mouth shut and my eyes shut tighter in the hope that when I force them open it is a dream and all the "I love u"s and "plz be mine"s that have built up over time r welcome to ur ears. This is what I get for letting my heart win over and over again, every time I see u I fall in love again and as much as I hate it I look forward to seein u again every time we part. These words that u hear with ur eyes that sit right in front of u r no good, they r fake, but only because they r not good enough at explaining how much I feel for u. This is my last stand, as I stand up and let u point the gun at my heart, if u want to pull the trigger I am not goin to try and stop u, but if not then plz let me know because not knowing what is goin on is killin me in itself. U seem to say one thing to me and then act out another, like u r lying to me. Am I out of the picture or is it fading? I try talking but all I get are stories of other guys. I wanted to dance with u, but u danced with him, I wanted to be him in that moment so bad it nearly killed me. I wanted to be the one that u could love, I wanted to be the one to lead u around that floor. It broke my heart again but thats ok, my heart is so used to bein broken now that I didnt die, it didnt stop it just cried. Maybe, just MAYBE u will get this and see what I mean and I am talking about, but u wont...u will never. Nobody will ever know that this is for u. I may aswell give up any hope that anyone will help this reach ur eyes. So there is only one thing left to say...

ps: I love you

what she said: 

  
Hey Nick...
It was great to see you at the wedding and i dont think i told u that u looked very smart!
Just reading ur msg i kno that i try to avoid talking about or bringing up the subject of us... mainly because if i dont then i secretly hope that you will get sick of me and will not continue to let ur self get hurt by me!
I talk about other guys not on purpose (trust me) but i think subconciously so that you will see that i'm not interested in anything between us... i know that might sound harsh but i'm just trying to be honest!
I dont see a future with us... not because of anything that you have done in the past but because i just dont love you the way you love me... I sorry that you still love me to the point where it almost kills you... but nothing i have done so far has succeded in stoping that so i'm not going to feel responsible for you loving me because i have no control over you or your feelings... you are the only one who does so i'm going to stop trying to make you fall out of love with me... just let you know that myabe it's time you forgot about me and live your life!
I love being mates with you and hanging out... your still the only one i tell secrets to because your the only one i trust! but that doesnt mean i love you the way you probably want me to... we have a huge past together and i cant, (and dont want to) forget it or alow it to mean nothing... only that i thankyou for all the amazing times we have and hope that it wont end just because i dont love you the way you want me to.
Please read this msg knowing that i'm just being honest for your sake and that i really really hope that your not to cut at me!
I'm soryy for leading you on by avoiding the topic... it's pretty selfish and imature of me... I'm sorry!