So I have been really stressed lately. Normally my husband can help calm me down in this, but he is as well stressed to the breaking point with all the stuff going on in his family.
So I know I am really bad when left to my own devices... I just am... no matter how hard I try.
Last night he was at work and I was all alone, and started thinking about everything that is going on.
Now, I have my onset symptoms of my OCD ( Obessive Compusive Disorder ) under control. Things such as counting, arranging, taking certain steps in preparing for my day.. all that.. is well okay.
But the past 5 years new symptoms are cropping up like my main issue of picking and scratching at ANY imperfection on my skin that I can see or feel. Thats right I even scratch at my back. There are other problems too, but this is the one I am really struggling with.
And its funny because its like my brain turns off, I scratch myself to peices, and then my brain turns back on and I see what I have done to myself.
Well this happened last night. The worst I think I have EVER done it before.
I am not kidding when I say I dug about 30 big holes in my skin on my chest, face, back, and legs.
I look horrible... like a walking open wound. Its sick.
And I just dont know what to do... how can I stop when I dont even know when I am doing it till its done.
I cant go back to my doctor... I am through with him.
I need to look for something else.... the natural therepy I was trying I kinda fell off of. Maybe I need to start that again and see what it can do for me.
Because this is just out of hand.