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Why are men afraid of their own children? I had always noticed that not all, but most, fathers do not spend extra time with their children. They will do whatever they can to avoid it and try whatever possible to get out of it.
At first I thought maybe it wasn't as common as I thought, or maybe most of the dads I knew were duds. However, I have been working in daycare for 5 years now and I can tell you, it IS common. I can think of about 3 dads who have ever kept their kids home with them when they have a day off from work, and even those guys didn't do it often.
Sometimes you hear the dads say something like, "My wife knows what is wrong when the baby cries, but I don't." To that I say the mother didn't always know what the baby wanted. She had to learn. If you would bother spending time with your child you would learn, too.
I think it's sad. I discussed it with my boyfriend and he thinks the dads are afraid something might happen to the kid while the mother isn't there. I'm sure that's part of it. Mostly I think the dads are more afraid that they might actually have to change a diaper. (Note to all men: You lose major points when you freak out about changing a diaper. You're supposed to be strong, virile and macho. When you act like a spaz over something like a diaper change, it makes you look weak.)
I would like to encourage all dads to spend time with their children. They are only little for a short time and before you know it your child will be a teenager who would rather spend time with anyone EXCEPT you.
(To all parents, if you bring your child to daycare on your day off you really don't have to make up excuses why you choose to bring them in instead of keeping them with you. Trust me, we take care of your kids all day every day and we know why you bring them in!  You don't have to lie to us.)
Here's hoping for better father/child relationships!
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Posted by ThelmaLou on 2008-09-10 13:45:08 | Rating: | Views: 36
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I think the bond between Mothers and their child can be so strong that it actually intimidates Fathers. Sad, but reality. As a Mother I encourage my children to have bonds with every important person in their life. Father, Grandparents, Uncles, Aunts, Godparents, etc. Every role in a child's life is important. And everyone should feel a special bond with that child in their own way. ;-)
C
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Posted by douxdemure
on 2008-09-10 14:03:39
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You both are right that all relationships in a child's life are important. If you both have husbands that help out, count your blessings! :) Too many dad's don't lift a finger, it's "the mother's job".
If a child's bond with his mother intimidates the father, or he's jealous of it it's no one's fault but his own. To these dads I say if you have a problem with your kids being so close with their mother, stop whining and do something about it. Instead of sitting on your butt playing video games all day take your kid and go have fun. Doesn't have to be anything major, just spending time with them is enough.
Trust me, kids realize at a VERY young age that they could be spending time with a parent but for some reason aren't allowed to. It's really sad.
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Posted by ThelmaLou
on 2008-09-16 14:01:19
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