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| Modern Dancing |
I don't think that you could deny that Dancing is generally for CHAVs and other countries however there comes a time for you to step back and take a look at the world of dancing for what it really is. Now saying that the modern dancing style is crap because it's not like the good old days would be a statement I would need to say wearing Grandad Glasses and smoking a pipe with a cover on my lap. Well I'm going to have to put them on because that is what I'm going to say today, well not exactly in a nut shell. Yes this blog will contain all the cliche quotes from the 90s. However it appears to me the Hardcore dancing and Mosh pits are also candidates for abuse and criticism because although they are not your classic dances and require no more than single digit brain cells they are now apart of out culture. You see we can kiss the old ages behind now and admit that this is our age now, let us crap on it like it truly deserves.
Firstly I would like to point out that I don't dance for pure and simple reason that I can't dance and although a lot of people like an idiot I don't feel it nessisarily to pretend I'm having sex on a dance floor a few hours before I could almost get sex and so it never really made sense which brings me to my first rant. The chav club dance. Now excluding the Cha Cha slide ramming its mind into children's parties and some how being accepted as dancing you can categorize any new song in a few words. The first thing to remember is no matter how new the song is you'll see the same dance to a similar beat with maybe one or two moves from the words. The second is to remember that in Dance music there are only three or four different beats. Though's are the liner symmetric one which you could predict as repeating with the being of a bar being the end of the last of the same. There is a fast and slower version of this but you'll catch on using about 2 brain cell's. The other two just leave a gap to confuse you however this fails because even the young chavs get the beat. The next thing to remember is that I lot of this dance is waving your hair about, putting one hand in the air to the chorus and rubbing sexual parts together as would spread cheese on a cracker. Now it's important to not loose the dance. You don't want to break in to break dancing or anything other moving your body in and out and up and down in the same liner way you've been doing for the last 2minutes. This isn't the worst type of dancing as I'll get to the worst soon however this is pretty terrible because it requires no skill and leaves the men thinking that they've pulled even though the woman was leading them on and I'm not saying the women she take the man dancing with them as a hint but do you really have to have horizontal dance-sex for no other reason than you think with your down stairs?
The next type is very very close to the last and close to my worst therefore making it the middle man in the charts and is rave. Now unlike Chav Dancing, Rave dancing is a lot more jumping up and down moving your feet about in random positions and putting your hand in the air. I'm not really sure what this type is trying to be, because although Chav dancing is disgusting it is very sure of why its ding what its doing however it appears that the jumping up and down some how means these people are having fun. Now techno and Rave musical beats are more liner than anything previously constructed. There are 2 beats, the first is the fast speed and the second is the ultra speed in which the crowd acts the same as the fast speed because apparently they can't move as fast as the ultra because God some how put a lock on the way we move. The Rave clubs or gigs if you will also have more strobes and lights there for... wait that is a good question. Why do they jump around in what looks like an old film being as jumpy. What you'll find in techno esp. remixes will be sound effects for no other reason than the DJ was snorting something and spent 3 hours laughing over the button ESC and thought the sound effects sounded like grilled turkey. There's not alot more to say about this because it is similar to Chav music however Rave and Techno dancing appears to have less stringing on men to have sex and more just jumping hoping that in all the drug taking that they don't end up next to a guy you thought was a girl, who's had 7 downstairs changes.
The off spring of break dancing and gymnastics is next. Hardcore dancing is practically like doing stunts to prove a point. I'm not quite sure of why in the same why I'm not sure of just why Emo's cut them selves. In any rate the music is a mix between 80s and screamo music for the most part and to be quite fair I wouldn't have it any other way. The 70s and 80s are over and releasing songs with talent in writing, playing and singing seems to be an impossible task and it just wouldn't work with Synths because of the pure and simple reason that modern music requires something more. I'm now going to talk about the dancing more and it appears to be kicking and handstands and anything else they feel like doing. It is kind of like an organized mosh pit because unlike mosh pits it isn't exactly wave your arms around hoping something good will come out of it, no, hardcore dancing is more like performing the same moves until they're perfected. It could be described as a one sided 'Break Off' in break dancing if you've ever seen any cheesy 90s American moves that is. Now I prefer this to mosh pits but to be honest its not a big preference because there is no rhythm to the so called dancing.
That beings me to mosh pits. Now you'll get people saying you can have Hardcore pits, but believe me real mosh pits are a lot worse. Now if your sitting there thinking of past memories and not recalling a mosh pit let me educate you on the subject. Try jumping in the air, running and just throwing every limb everywhere and you'll be moshing. Now you could say that there are standard moves in mosh pits but you'll only read about them in Moshing for dummies because the general rule is to go mental to metal. It is totally unstruchtured at least in the 'real' mosh pits and in the 'real' mosh pits you'd better be prepared for a beating because though's rockers really go for it. You need to pick your self up and continue however you might have to accept that it could hurt and you could die. Its not a nice thought however it does happen in the huge festivals seeing as alot of these are crazed metal heads screaming at you. Not the music is pretty basic. Drums, Guitar and a singer you wouldn't be surprised if they had a piece of rope around their neck. This right here is quite possibly the worst excuse for movement on earth. There is no other point other than the £200 of drugs you've just taken nor any point on the actions. unstructured and all the more I'm not sure what they are trying to achieve. Being new and unstructured is all due and fine if there is a reason or something out of it. All it seems to achieve is low energy and bruises....
Now what you've got to remember is that we've gone from structured ordinary dancing to mosh pits in about 60 years... is it for the better? well taking off my grandpa gear it is a good step in to crazy and I wouldn't have it any other way.
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Posted by TheWhiteRings on 2009-07-22 12:00:00 | Rating: | Views: 34
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