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I came to a realization or an epiphany if you will while walking back to my dorm from dinner. I think that this realization is the root problem of why I have such a hard time of making friends and why I am in my second term of college and haven't made a single friend. The realization is that I had horribly disappointed in the past and felt like that I wasted time on someone who was a poor, poor friend; that I'm afraid that I'll be disappointed again, hurt again and I can't go through that again. I spend Nine Years on that person and all I got to show for it was pain, sadness, loneliness, and disappointment. She was a decent friend when we were young but as we got into our middle school years, it beame apparent that what once worked wasn't working now. I think I should have slowly seperated from her then but we were in a new school and she was someone I already knew, so I clinged to that because I didn't want to be alone but I've eneded up alone anyways. I'm trying to work on being a better person, so I feel comfortable enough to actually make new friends, friends who will care for me and put the same amount of effort into me as I will them. I believe that the heart is a fragile thing, that only those closest to us can damage and even break. That is what happened to me and I'm still trying to put it together again. I need help to put it back together because I can't do it on my own.
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Posted by TheWanderer on 2007-12-07 15:57:00 | Rating: | Views: 74
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I have been successful in my journey to make friends.
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Posted by TheWanderer
on 2008-09-03 23:04:49
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