So I just wanna say that I appreciate the people that have read my blogs so far. I know that they can be long and that my typing skills .. well..  suck ass and need alot of work, But thank you and don't be scared to leave comments! So.. thank you for reading...

    As I said in my last blog. I was living with my Dad and thins were great. Then he met "Kate". Kate was nice at first. always doing what I wanted to do. being extra careful around me. trying to will my affection and at first she got it. I started calling her mom. Then,  my dad proposed. and her true colours came out. She didn't like me and didn't want me there at all.  my dad slowly started to ignore me ( I know alot of you are thinking that I think he was ignoring me because I wasn't used to sharing  him with someone else but thats not the case at all)  They would go to resturants while they made me stay home. And remember my dad still lived in the ghetto part of town..  But I got used to the drunks bagging on the door while my dad and his girl were away.  I even made friends with some of them..  it was going to be alright. as long as Dad comes home egverything will be fine.

    Kate didn't get along with my Sister (who lived a couple doors down at the time and had a new baby boy) actually she didn't get along with any of my Family.  There was alot of fights because of her. Spreading lies about me, my momma and my great aunt and my sister..  Then things got Rocky between Her and my Dad. and my dad blamed me.  

   That is when my dad decided he did not want me with him no more..  that is when he sent me to back to my mothers house. He promised to call me and visit me when ever he could, but that didn't happen. He would make plans with me to come pick me up and spend the day with me. I remember Sitting infront of the window at 9am waiting for my daddy.  then finally running back to my room a 6pm cuz he never came. It got so bad that whenever someone mentioned my dad I would get angry. either I would cry or I'd lash out.  Although I got used to my dad not neing around me anymore.. It hurt. cuz he was my hero..

    I developed Asthma.. one of the worse cases of asthma the doctors have seen in these parts. I could be fine and breathing one minutes. and breathless and gasping for air the next. I became sickly and depressed. And the stress of my fathers absences didn't help at all either. The only time he did come and see me was when I was admitted into the hospital. I would refuse to have Kate in my hospital room. 

     My sister, as I mentioned before, had a baby boy. She was young when she had him and was starting to have difficulties with raising a child. I remember her visiting my mother and I. and bringing "Darren" with her. But when she left.. she didn't take him home with her. He stayed with us. And since my momma didn't want to look after a baby the job was givin to me.  So after school I would come home and take care of the baby. I became a mom before the age of thirteen.  My sister did come back eventually and Darren doesn't remember callin me mom. But that day she came and took him back was the saddest of my life.

    After Darren was gone I decided I wanted to have fun. So I started rebelling against my mother and started partying. I hung out with the older kids. I looked like I was 17 but really I was 13,  started drinking. I was at a party when I was raped. with all of my supposied "friends"  after that. I became a hermit. I didn't leave the house much after school..  I decided that the only person that I could trust was me , Not my Family, Not my friends, but me. 

I'll write more later, I promise.  I also would like to thank naomidarlene for they're words of encouragement. Thank you.