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Soo my partner in crime arrived yesterday and we decided to start off her visit with a trip to Fenway Park. In case you weren't aware, all good trouble starts at Fenway. Our $23 seats were pretty decent, and got even better when we snuck over behind home plate in the 3rd inning. Anyways, in case you haven't been following, the Red Sox are pretty much AMAZING and we won another game, putting us in first place by something ridic like 11 games.
So after the game we definitely were not ready to call it a night so we decided to head to a popular after game hot spot downtown. I'd heard rumors about this place being pretty slack with IDs so we weren't surprised when we flirted our way past the bouncers and on to the rooftop bar. We quickly noticed that we were the youngest ones in the bar by about... oh, 15 years. Most girls would be intimidated by this fact and might even consider turning around and heading to a pizza place instead - not us, we're seasoned pros in this stuff and a bar with older men is like a gold mine where I come from. Granted, we knew we wouldn't be finding our future husbands any time soon, but we could count on a few free drinks and some hilarious conversation. Our predictions came true pretty fast as we moved from a group of older bullshitters to a group of very large, hysterical, older men. Let me backtrack for a second to the bullshitters. In case you women are NOT aware... men have a game they play called the name drop. When you meet a guy in a bar, they're convinced that if they can drop the name of someone you both know, you'll instantly be inclined to fall in to bed with them. This guy tried everything from Joey Smith to Sarah MacDonald. They also thought they had us convinced that they were college graduates and unmarried (their wedding fingers revealed differently). So after a sufficient amount of bullshitting and no drinks in our hands, we moved on to the funnier fat men. (Forgive me, I'm judgmental, rude and inconsiderate, so if you're going to consider reading this blog, get over that and if you don't like my opinions then you can stop reading). So, one of these funny fat men was a history teacher at a local college and proceeded to get in a heated debate with my partner in crime over the name of John Adams' daughter.... yea he was a dork and she wanted a drink. We were appreciating our free drinks and laughing along with the fat men until we decided we wanted a cigarette. OK... now, picture this. We're on the ROOF TOP of a bar. This, in my book, means that we were indeed outside, in open air. We weren't in an enclosed environment. We weren't even under an over hang or anything.. we were freakin OUTSIDE. So did I think twice before bumming a cigarette off of my friend? no.. who would? Well apparently the bitch of a bartender felt differently and decided that my lighting a cigarette OUTSIDE IN OPEN AIR gave her full right to grab me by the back of the shirt, yank me backwards and yell at me to put out my cigarette. Must have been a long night for her. Anyways, we decided that it was worth it to head downstairs and out front to smoke our cigarettes, leaving the fat men at the bar.
Ok, you're getting bored with the blog, but keep reading... I met Canadians... and not just ANY Canadians, QUEBEC CANADIANS. For those of you that aren't aware, Quebec Canadians are not only a rare find at a local Boston bar, but are also the BEST target for any sarcasm that you need to get off your chest. We spent a fair amount of time flirting with the bouncers some more and making funny rude remarks to the QC (Quebec Canadian) and then decided we were bored and wanted to go pick up my friend.. we'll call him The Sketchy Pale Irish Guy (SPIG). Anyways, we pick him up and stop at Dunkin Donuts (every good night included a DD run). Realizing that we had no weed and no where else to go we decide to go back to the bar we came from. Long story short, we get SPIG in to the bar even though he's not only Sketchy Pale and Irish but ALSO underage... run in to the Canadians, as well as the fat men. We enjoy a game of pool with some guys from my neighborhood and then... (yes it gets better than making fun of Canadians)
WE DISCOVER WE'RE NEXT DOOR TO A GAY CLUB!!
If you though Quebecians were a rare find... imagine the odds of landing next to a gay club, while feeling very drunk and very obnoxious. So we mosied on next door only to be let down by the transvestite he-she at the door who told us that the gay bar was closed. OK fine.. time to head to the 24 hour pizza place on Newbury and make further assholes out of ourselves... JACKPOT!! Where do all the gay/lesbian/transvestites head AFTER THE BAR?? Apparently they like pizza.
So we met not one, not two but THREE tables of gay men sitting around us, enjoyed their amusing company and then finally called it a night... we thought. Driving back to drop SPIG off we decided to do something we hadn't done in a long time... ghost ride the whip. Anyone not know what ghost riding a whip is? Let me break it down (this description is best read with E40's "ghost ride the whip" song playing in the background)
You're driving your car.. down a straight away preferably, at night with no cops around of course. You slow it down to abouttt 4 miles an hour, open all the doors and have everyone hop out of the car and dance next to it while it's still in motion... the "ghost" is driving it.. get it? Anyways, we decided to do a variation of ghost riding where the driver hops on top of the car, dances around and slides down to the hood.
All in all it was a good night and now I have to go out to enjoy my second night of mayhem with my partner in crime
PS: This was written purely as it came to me, due to large alcohol consumptions and lack of time, the blog probably didn't flow as nicely as it could have but next time I'll leave time to edit, and take more pictures to jog my memory. Stay tuned for the next morning after.
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fantastic!
great story! i recalled university, dropping acid and heading out to a local blues joint in Toronto to drink rivers of beer... YIKES1!!
oh yes, i'm CANADIAN! but not quebecois ;o)
thanks for the story and cheers(!) to your partner in crime.
:o)
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Posted by badlydrawnstickman
on 2007-07-13 18:56:35
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I really enjoyed your story. I found it very amusing that you poked some fun at Canadians...since I am one! Don't worry, I am not a "quebecker" as I call them. I love Canada and I am glad to be a part of it.
Keep the stories coming!
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Posted by consistentlyincon...
on 2007-08-10 20:32:57
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