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| My Barbie Empire N Kelsey
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I was talking to kelsey today about when we were younger. Way before we knew each other. Kelsey started talking about how her mother never let her play with barbies. Me, I had a barbie empire. But I wasn't like the normal little girl. Who had barbie bake cookies, or relax in her hottub, or walk the dog while Ken was at work. See. My barbies were as freakish as me. I had the whole collection, the barbie, ken, skipper, tori, kelly and theresa. To say the least, about 3 or 4 of each. My barbies didn't bake cookies. Or make friends over tea. My barbies were demented. And none of them ever kept their original names. They all had exotic (or so I thought as a child) names. My favorite was by far Helena. Or Lena for short. She was originally a blonde barbie. But that didn't last long. Thanks to the help of a black sharpie, purple magic marker and some safety scissors, she soon had short choppy black and purple hair. She also sported tattoos. Not too finely drawn, but tattoos none the less. She was too cool for barbie clothing. For a while she wore duct tape mini skirts and tops, up until she discovered my brother's G.I. Joes. She wore the G.I.. pants, scrunched up to show off her leg tats. and a white wife beater from the G.I. she last seen. Lena became the barbie notoriously known for screwing all the G.I. Joes. What could she say, She had a thing for plastic men in uniforms. But it didn't stop at that. Lena was bisexual. Probably my first inclination to my parents that I myself was bisexual, though it was obviously overlooked. Lena did not marry a Ken, or a G.I. She was single. But oh so loving. While Jake (all my ken dolls were named this. There was no diffenerntiating between them. ) was away at work, Lena would come visit their wives, who were all as freakish. My barbies were swingers. They all slept with each other, no matter what sex. One time Lena and Tala (a formally red haired barbie) came home from a quickie in the backyard to find Tala's husband Jake and another Jake getting down and dirty. I told you I was a freak. My barbies sometimes all got to be in the mix. Another time, a evil Jake doll, who had a force of G.I. Joes to heed his every command, had taken all of my female barbies into white slavery. They were to sold into prostitution rings, but he found himself weirdly attacted to Lena. Who forcefully broke his arm off when he tried to assult her. Yeah. My childhood seems a little fucked up when I look back. But, Kelsey said it was hilarious, and she loved me every bit more for it. So, that's good enough for me.
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