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| Roadblocks in Mississippi |
I got a phone call today while I was in a Mary Kay meeting with my grandmother.
(I'm so glad, too, because I'm not into the whole "Join a gang of old, bored housewives, and sell cosmetics out of the trunk of my car" thing. It's just not me.)
I got a phone call today. From Brett. My ex-fiance.
I feel so fucking stupid, breaking up with him. He was the best thing that's ever happened to me. The best relationship that I ever had.
He was amazing. He still is. So sweet, and supportive, and loving. Caring, and kind, and oh-so-loyal.
I told him that regret breaking up with him, and how I wish so much that I didn't make one of the dumbest mistakes of my life. He says that, while he has a girlfriend right now, and she's cool and all, he wishes that we never broke up.
I love him to death. He was perfect for me. He says that I was perfect for him. We just fit together so well.
He says that he'll come to see me on his Thanksgiving Break. We both thought about give "us" a second try. And I am perfectly okay with that. I just wonder what's going to happen.
I went out with Murray two days ago. It was fun. We hung out and stuff.
However, I found out yesterday that he's still with the girl that he was dating the last time we "hung out." He failed to mention that when I asked him if he had a girlfriend.
He says that he thought that I was engaged (which apparently made it okay), and that if he told me that he had a girlfriend, that I wouldn't hang out with him. Honestly, I don't even feel bad for Megan (his girlfriend). I kind of feel sorry for her, though. She's under the impression that there's so much passion in their relationship, and even though I can't say whether or not there is, I don't see how Murray does what he does. I mean, I've had sex outside of relationships (once while I was dating Brett), but A) My boyfriend (at the time) knew about it, and B) I kept (or tried to) feelings out of it. I told them straight out that I was in a relationship and that it was just sex. I mean, I fucked up and ended the relationship with Brett because of that, but at least I ended the relationship when I did. Murray acts as if we're dating or something, when he has a girlfriend at home. He holds my hand, makes out with me in public, tries to walk me to my door. Hell, he wanted to sneak into my house to have sex with me. And when I ask him about it, he says that he likes me. That's it. That's all. And I like him, too. Not so much that I want to date him seriously, but I'd like to see what sex would be like with him. Of course, it'll never match what Brett and I had, but we won't go there.
Brett wants me to write him a letter. I have no idea what to say. I mean, what do you say to the guy you love, but whose heart you broke, and who's now dating someone else, even though they say that they want to be with you?
(It's a rhetorical question.)
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