Time Stands Still

As you walk out the door,
My knees hit the ground,
and a tear falls to the floor.

Time stands still,
As I watch you walk away,
Wondering what will,
Become of this day.

The lies crumble around me,
And I don't care,
Love isn't free,
But Freedom I've found.

In your arms,
I'll comfortably lie,
Let the world spin around me,
Let the tears wash it away.

I'll never give up,
I love you to much,
Let time stop,
So forever can be.

I'm your guardian,
Protecting you for life,
But for once I believe,
The end will be tonight.

Tonight is coming,
Tommorrow will soon,
And I'll keep running,
To find that happiness in you.
 

I wrote this today, for Christine... but it wasn't well recieved (who knows what was wrong with it though). When I write poety, I try to get my thoughts and feelings in there. I really don't know how well it was done though...
My second writing was actually set out as a song, and I even had music for it playing in my head (currently tabbing that out for guitar).

Never Give Up.
[Verse 1]
No matter what comes along,
No matter what happens to us,
I can hate you for eternity,
But that hate would be a mis-guided love.

You could hate me,
Like you hate him,
But no matter what you think of me,
I'll think good things about you.

[Chorus]
I'll never give up hope with you,
I'll never give up on you,
I'll always have hope,
That one day We'll pull through.
Even if the sun dies away,
And takes away the light of day,
The fire in my heart,
Will burn brightly for you.

[Verse 2]
Loving you forever,
Wouldn't be enough,
Not being able to hold you forever,
Would be to tough.

If you only saw the hope,
I had in us working out,
Then you would know,
What this is all about.

[Chorus]
I'll never give up hope with you,
I'll never let another hold me like you do,
I'll always have hope,
That you and I can pull through,
Even if the moon dies away,
And takes the brightness from your face,
The smile from my lips,
Will brightly shimmer for you.

[closing verse]
And no matter what comes,
In the future with us,
I'll love you just the same,
As I did the first day.

And the sun and the moon,
Will never stop me from loving you,
Because in my heart you'll stay,
Even after my dying day.

[Fade Out]
I love you.
 

Thoughts??