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| Donkey Driving: How to make an Ass out of yourself
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A famous dutchman once said: "Twenty years ago Cypriots were riding on donkeys. Today the donkeys are driving the cars." These few words almost perfectly sum up the Cypriot driving style (or lack of driving skills); almost because this author is of the opinion that donkeys are in fact better drivers than the locals.
Some typical Cypriot traffic rules:
1)Green means go, yellow go like hell, and red means stop go stop go until you are in the middle of the intersection and can go anyway.
2) Indicators and brakes should at all times be replaced with the horn.
3) Abandoning your vehicle in the middle of the road to go into the shop and buy cigarrettes is perfectly acceptable.
4) When parking in designated parking spaces it is advised to use up as many spaces as possible with a single vehicle. The current record stands as a Nissan Micra using 4 spaces.
By following these rules you are sure to earn the respect and love of your fellow Cypriot drivers.
This author was once driving through a certain city's main thoroughway that joins the upper and lower parts of town during rush hour (about twenty minutes between 2 pm and 3 pm). Turning into a side road that was the fastest route to the destination, the most extraordinary raodside event of this author's life happened!
A long line of cars were waiting to turn into the main road as this author turned into the side street. As the car moved down the lane, some Cypriot man decided that he did not want to wait to go to the car dealership that was on the corner of the two streets. As was expected of a Cypriot driver, this man decided to DRIVE UP THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD as I was coming down it. He then proceeded to stop his car in the middle of the road (in front of mine), exit his vehicle, tells this author to wait a minute and enters the SHOP!
Not being able to bypass his car, this author was forced to sit and wait for the mindless driver to return. Fellow drivers were in hysterics at this man's foolishness. Behind this author's car more vehicles exiting the main road were waiting, unable to determine what was going on. The result: a big ugly traffic jam that didnt have to happen.
When the man returned to his car, he sat there expecting THIS AUTHOR to make way for HIM! Even though he was clearly in the wrong. So ths Author exited his car and sat on the bonnet drinking a coke. If he wasnt going to move, this author was determined not to move either. Eventually the CYPRIOT driver moved away and drive across the pavement, but behind him a tourist car come down the wrong side! When in Cyprus do like the Donkeys.
Welcome to a European Country.
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