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Current Affairs: Water Blunders

As of yesterday, Cyprus has belittled itself so much in the eyes of its neighbours (espeically 'brother' Greece) that if we could sink beneath the waves like Atlantis in shame, we probably would be getting into our scuba gear by now. Because yesterday, the Cyprus Government decided to shed 50 000 cm3 onto the ground because of their own stupidity and lack of planning. It marks the ridiculous end of a journey riddled with comically tragic events that could only have been Cypriot.

It began in winter of 07/08 with precious little rainfall. Dams were at a minimum capacity and it was realised that the water wouldnt hold out through the summer. So the government announced that Lebanon agreed to send us water, free of charge. Within a few days however, the Lebanese government issued a statement: They were suffering from a drought themselves and not to mention recent war. Sending water was out of the question, but the amazing thing was, the Lebanese Government hadnt even been asked! by our government. Its brings to mind questions such as, how can a Senior Government Official (SGO) such as the Minister of Agriculture make such claims? Easy, because he is Cypriot.

After a few months of diddly daddling, Greece promised to supply Cyprus with some water (about half our annual needs) and Cyprus was over the moon (but the water isnt free). Ocean tankers, a shipping company was brought in and a contract was set up. It was agreed that 6 tankers would be used carrying 50 000 cm3 each. The Deadline for the first tanker was set as July 25th, yet by June 30, the Cyprus government insisted they were ready for the first tanker. It left Greece and arrived in Limassol, Cyprus on July 1st. Where it sat and waited for 16 days!

First, the Cypirots blamed the weather saying 'bad weather' prevented them from putting the pipe that would transport the water to land out to sea. This 'bad weather' lasted about a week. With temperatures in the high 30'sC and relatively low winds and calm seas, The rest of Cyprus began to joke. Obviously it was storming in Limassol right? Eventually the 'bad weather' was over and the pipe was laid into the sea, where it was discovered that in fact it was 3 METERS TO SHORT! Another point for Cypriot idiocy. It was only after this was fixed (anter 8 days or so) and the ship correctly anchored (2 days) that the water could safely be transported to land. By then though, the water had stagnated and gone stale after sitting in a close tanker for near over two weeks.

'For reasons of bad smell and unsafe human consumption, we have decided to pour the water out on the groud to replenish the Germasogeia (Limassol Suburb) underground water reserves' was the official decleration, but the translation reads 'Because we are a babbling band of fools, we have made a big fuck up and are now trying to save some face' . So instead of ending up in our glasses, the first 50 000 cm3 of water will be drunk by the ground. Unacceptable in a community whose biggest dam will run dry in just a weeks time. But this is Cypurs.

Bonus Track:

The Agriculture Minister was shown up again on a radio show. Throughout the crisis, he was blaming everything except his own department's planning and eventually settled on blaming the shipping company, saying that they would have to pay a big fine for every late tanker. He continued to blast the company until a journalist pointed out that the deadline to bring the first tanker was july 25th and in fact for every tanker before that, the Government would have to pay a 20 000 euro bonus to the company and this was all in the contract that he had sighed personally. The Minister was silent for a record 5 seconds.