HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!

God, I am out of breath.
What the fuck is going on now?
I can’t help but put this situation in the category of ‘How to fuck with TAC some more”

This is the email I got from HER this morning:

“Everything is going okay here. I told (MY HUSBAND) the other day I was leaving him. And (MY DAUGHTER) is staying here until school is out and then she is going with his parents for the summer. (MY PARTNER) is doing good. (MY HUSBAND’S) mom is here helping out and I am trying not to go crazy. Just kind of overbearing. We have been pretty busy as far as work goes the last few days. I am off today but I am trying to get all my paperwork squared away for when I go to (ANOTHER CITY) Wednesday. Other than that not a lot going on. Talk to you later.
AMANDA”

HOW THE FUCK DO I TAKE THIS?

Not to be selfish but where do I fit in on this?
Is this just another event that is going to finally push HER out of my life into the arms of Tex or some other guy? Remember the last I heard, he was in San Antonio?
I am so tired of being the last alternative when it comes to love.
I am never the guy that a woman comes to first.
It would just take one time for the woman that I desire to come to me and say, I am with you now because that is where we are supposed to be. That one time would take away all the doubt I have in my life. It would give me a purpose to move forward.
I am not saying I expect her to invite me to fuck her. I don’t know where I am to go with this situation now.
I know that HER life is independent of mine at this point and I am not is a position for my actions to affect hers, and unless this is the chance that leads to me and HER finally being together, I can only take it that SHE is moving on with her life and I am still on the sidelines watching.

I am tired of being the person that watches.

My response to HER:

“Doc,

Ok, let me pick myself up off the floor before I respond and apologize for all the
questions that are coming.
First, how is (YOUR DAUGHTER) dealing with everything?
How are you dealing with everything?

(HER HUSBAND’s) mom is in (YOUR HOMETOWN)or (WHERE SHE LIVES NOW)?
What is the deal with (THE OTHER CITY)?

So are you staying in (WHERE SHE LIVES NOW) or moving to (THE OTHER CITY?

Sorry for being nosey - trying to put this all together in my mind.

I hope that things turn out the way you need them to for your peace of mind.
Just keep me informed. I don't think it’s in the cards for us to loose touch.

I got to ask though, what lead to your leaving?

Don't mean to sound like a pussy but remember that you are a strong person. I don't think
there is anything that you can't handle.
You can always give me a call if you need a long hair or his opinion.


TAC”

That is the best that I could come up with.
It would be stupid for me to reveal anything more than that.

God, I need answers.
It’s strange and I feel like my heart has been ripped from my chest.

I feel that SHE will email me telling me that there is another guy and that SHE is with him now.