Well I did something last night that was so cool when I originally thought about and then as time set in, it seemed rather stupid.
After I posted and was waiting for the night to be over so I could start my two days off, a violent storm hit. I mean violent.
Sideways rain and hail hit like a motherfucker. I had to lock most of the doors at work because they were being blown open.
Well, I took some time and stepped outside and snapped a pic on my cell phone. It couldn’t have been more perfect. I snapped this photo right as lightning struck and the whole sky was lit up. I was proud of it.
Well I am standing there and for some stupid fucking reason, I decided to email it to HER.
I guess it was because SHE is always on my mind and the fact that the bread truck guy said that the town where SHE lives is about to get slammed with golf ball sized hail again.
So I thought that SHE would see the photo, get all emotional about how I care for HER, quit HER job, and moved back here. I don’t know.
Well I thought it would also be cool to record a short message along with the photo. I just said something about what SHE was missing by not being there.
I truly wanted to say something about how the rain made the heart’s desires stronger for the one it truly misses, but I didn’t.
Well I sent it to HER. No response yet.

I came home and did the usual. I checked my sites and talked to shemelts until the words I was typing made no sense.
I passed out and woke up around 1 or so.
I called Alex to see if he found anything out, Of course he hadn’t.
So I made some phone calls.
I will try to explain this as best I can.
You tell me if I should take what has occurred as signs about my future and what I want to do.

In this area, there are 6 training faculties to basically choose from for training.
Two require good credit, which I consider a form of racial profiling, to attend and then you have to work for their city for no telling how long.
The pay is not that good for either so they are basically out. Everyone I have spoken to, including Alex, has told me bad things about those two.
Well there is one that is hours away, and in another state. It is the same as the first two I listed and training is even further away from the hiring city. Plus I would have to work for their city, and qualify for Texas after my employment there. So it is out.
The 3 remaining just about the same.
None are offering full time training until next year, which really burns my ass.
All offer, over the remaining year, part time training that last so much longer and starts at different times.
So going full time, and being qualified in about 4 months, cannot happen until May of next year. That means that any chance of a better job comes about August 2009.
Now that is also the same time that all 3 part time training finishes.
Does that make sense?
The only difference now between them is start times, overall length times, and expenses such as travel.
One offers training in the morning, the other two offer it at night.
One is January thru August, another is August through September 09, and the other is well - I can’t find its info, but the secretary is sending it to me. I think it is January 09.

I guess the biggest factor right now is gasoline.
Part time I will have to drive to training 3 times for every time I will drive for full time training.
I haven’t even mentioned the fact that I would have to find some to let my kids out at least once a day if I go full time.
Part time has the advantages as I can still work and get ahead in studies, which I tend to do but time is against me.
I will be 43 before I get a good shot at a new job. Training plus six months to find work – which is average.
That is two years away.
So give me your opinions.


Well I decided that I wanted a burger or pizza. That pizza place lady can’t find help and she is constantly changing her hours. She will loose her business if she doesn’t watch it.

I came home and ate.
I tried to call Renee, Barry , and Alex – no answer.

I finally talked to Barry. He had his girlfriend over and couldn’t talk for too long.
I finally reached Alex and talked to him until the drug user finally brought his guitar over.
I repaired it in about 3 minutes and waited for him to come get it.
He told me that Mex pulled him over. I thought that was funny.

I passed out and woke about about 5:45 am.
I talked to shemelts and checked my sites.
I ate and passed out.
Of course, Alex calls while I am asleep.

I have been fighting a headache because of hunger and because I haven’t been drinking much coffee today.
It is so beautiful outside. I am going to get that mattress clean today and set up for the kids.