Thoughts.com Blogs - Still Down down down

A few days later and I am still just down. I hate to fight, I hate to feel bad about myself. I hate to worry about my relationship. I know that I have to be happy with myself first and foremost, and I like to think that I am. But keeping and loving the person that means the most to me has always been very important to me. I just, I don't know. I've been quiet all week. I've just been coming home, working out, cooking, and quietly watching tv or reading. Ben has noticed that I haven't been myself all week but think he just doesn't know what to say. Or maybe he just can't keep hearing the same things over and over. And that is why I've just been quiet. He doesn't need to hear about my issues and same feelings over and over again. God, even I get sick of myself feeling and thinking about the same things over and over again. I've thought about maybe talking to a counselor but I just don't want to there again. It's hard for me to find someone that isn't biased. I know that's supposed to be their "job" but in my experience, they tend to be biased and judgmental. I had one that I liked and I couldn't afford to keep going to her. She actually listened and gave me positive feedback. Others just judge you and tell you do everything wrong. Well now that I think about it maybe I do. I'm constantly thinking about what I can do to improve my situation and I don't really find anything, it kind of fades for a little bit, and then the cycle just starts all over again. ...*sigh*...