So we went to Palm Springs over the weekend to hang out with my family, as my dad's business was putting on their gigantic yearly conference that they do in a different city every year. Basically this means nice resort, free whatever, and yeah, family.
So anyway, the first night was a cocktail and dinner party, then Ben and I and my brother and his girlfriend went to a casino and gambled and danced. It was a really fun night.
The next day I got my hair highlight and cut, FINALLY. I needed it very badly. Then it was a little shopping, and then cocktails and volleyball in the pool. That was the best day. That night was my dad's big huge dinner party on the driving range of hte golf course with a live singer dude. It was fun but I got a little too intoxicated! Ben and I had crazy conversation that I only remember bits and pieces of, and I know a lot was said. (We don't talk that much. Not that we don't like communicate, but we don't have like big important talks hardly ever.) Anyway I know some of what was said was super important and some stuff I'd rather not have talked about, so that kind of messed me up.
So yeah, that pretty much ruined the next day. I felt sick all day but even worse, I felt depressed. Here's the thing, I'm a big drinker, I come from a family of big partiers, we all just like to party. The only problem is that when I have TOO much to drink, I get absolutely horrifically depressed. I spent pretty much all of saturday during the day just teary and wanting to crawl in a hole. My brain just takes a little longer to rebuild that seratonin I lost.
Anyway, Saturday afternoon we watched the NFL draft and had drinks and lunch in the hotel bar with my brother and his girlfriend. It was honestly way to hot to even go to the pool, I think it topped out at about 103 and this is DRY desert heat. I didn't drink much and mostly tried to eat my hangover away.
Then Saturday night we took a bus to downtown Palm Springs and we went to an oyster bar and had appetizers, oysters, clams, mussels, etc. It was really good. The boys were doing oyster shooters so they got pretty loaded. I did one chocolate vodka shot which was pretty good, and then I finally started feeling okay again. So I had a few long islands, and then my dad came and picked us up to take us to where our dinner reservations were. It was this super nice Italian place and of course, with my dad there, the wine started flowing. My family and I adore wine, we've learned about wine, we do tastings, etc, we LOVE it. So of course we get a bottle of a red and a white. I stuck to white because it was still so hot out.
Well my brother and Ben's ex best friend call (See My 24th Year entry to see how they are all related, it's who I met Ben through), and he has some mental problems to say the least. My brother and him had a business together and he screwed over my brother and ended up not paying him rent, and bringing down his half of the business. So yeah, obviously they are not really friends anymore. He basically ended up moving ot my brother's house to start the business and then he went absolutely mental, like paranoid even schitzophrenic possibly. Anyway, for some reason he thinks my dad is some leader of some organization that wants to kill Ben, so of course that messed him up knowing that we were all in the same place at the same time. My brother hung up on them and that sort of triggered me feeling bad/guilty for him.
Anyway, the meal was fantastic... I had Lobster Ravioli with vodka sauce... my brother's gf gets SUPER drunk and almost has to puke on the way home. Anyway we make it back to the hotel, and Ben and I have ANOTHER talk. I'm drinking water by now because I don't want a repeat of the day before, but I still had a hard time remembering everything that was said. For some reason I get all worried after we have these talks like he is going to reevaluate who I am.. and our relationship.. and crap like that. I know that sounds ridiculous but I'm just trying to explain how I feel. I know I have some issues with anxiety, and this is where that comes in. I just get all nervous or worried or whatever.
Anyway then we just had breakfast yesterday and drove home. We both just napped and laid around all day yesterday once we got home. I took today off because I knew I would need just a day of recovery, but Ben had to work.
So I'm going to go get a massage here in a few hours (Ben had got me a gift certificate a few months ago for my birthday) and hope that I can kick these post vacation blues.
