I text him today. Just to find out if he knew this number that kept calling me. I thought maybe he'd of given my number to someone. But he hasn't.
He didn't give much to reply to. He's been really short with me.
It's even more confusing.

Long day today. Work, it just seemed to drag. I'm so tired again. My mind's working over time and I can't even concentrate on the novel I'm trying to get finished. Only a few more chapters, but everything I write ... it just. Oh, I don't even know! It just doesn't work and it's so frustrating.
My drawings, they're not going to great either. Not going anywhere in fact.

Mum has to go to hospital tomorrow. She found a huge lump and the Doctor's transferred her to Hospital. I don't know what that means. Do you?
She doesn't seem to bothered on the outside but inside, I think she's raking with nerves. I know she'll be scared. And tomorrow, she'll have to wait for results I guess. I don't know how it works.
She might have Cancer.

I'm at a loss at what to do to be quite honest.
I'm not coping at all. I act like I am, I smile like I'm fine and I laugh and joke and be the normal me. But inside I'm nothing. I'd love to get away from everything for a week-end or a week. Go to the country, I've never been before. Meet a handsome stranger.
What a fantasy.
It's pathetic really ...