| View Blog
|
|
|
Emailed to friends and relatives Wednesday morning:
Just wanted to send an email to those of you that knew mom or knew her through me and my wild tales. Mom passed away peacefully today around 4:30 on Tuesday the 26th of February.
Two weeks ago, I took mom to the Urologist to find out why she was up all night going to the bathroom. He found absolutely nothing, said unfortunately in her mental state of Dementia, that it was probably an old habit, "wake up, go to the bathroom, get back in bed, wake up, go to the bathroom, get back in bed". But, he gave her Sanctura anyway, thought it might help control the "urge" to "go". Also said it might be constipating too. I told him fine, she took fiber, that should counteract the "other" (I hate that C word, it's gross). He also said he didn't really think it would work, but worth a try. So, if the "C" word grosses you out, please don't read any further.
Some of you know that for the past 2 months, Keith and I have been taking shifts sleeping in the living room to help mom to the bathroom and back in bed. Her arthritis was acting up in her legs and we were afraid she'd fall again or couldn't get out of bed to get to the bathroom. I would keep watch until 3 AM and then Keith would get up and keep watch while I slept until 7 or 8.
Well, over the weekend, the "C" was obvious. Saturday night she was in the bathroom every 15 minutes from 7 PM until 3:30 in the morning when Keith took over, about 24 times, I was wiped out! Then, she continued on with Keith several more times until we all got up at 8.
Sunday night, she was different, actually sat for periods of an hour or two on the "pot", in pain, but trying. Well we all know what straining can do.
I tried stool relaxers, laxatives prunes, prune juice, hot tea with orange juice and finally Monday morning two suppositories, she couldn't do anything. So, I called her doctor. Nurse told me that she could possibly have a blockage and that I should take her to the emergency room. We checked in at 12:15.
Mom went back to the Emergency Room at 1:00 and blood was drawn, she has always had a hard time with bloodwork, teeny tiny veins, always a problem. The first lab, three vials was a challenge, had to get blood from right hand, left hand and her right foot, AWFUL.
She was then taken for and EKG, that was fine. Bloodwork came back that she had an infection, more blood to be drawn, called in the cavalry for this drawing. He worked and worked and found a couple more decent veins and drew her blood.
Meanwhile, she had to drink three 16 oz bottles of "Banana Smoothie BARIUM", gross, to have a CT Scan, like a trooper, she slurped it down.
All the while in the emergency room, mom is wanting to get up to try to have a BM, no can do, I know she can't, besides the fact that she is hooked up to an IV . She sits up, she lays down, she lays on side, she sits up, she lays flat, basically, she's in pain, terrible pain, she's miserable.
Bloodwork came back, she has a bad case of Diverticulitis, it's not really the "C" word as much as the infection, so they are admitting mom, they give her Toradal through her IV for pain. Her blood pressure is about 140/???, can't remember, but good for her.
So we wait for a room, we wait, we wait some more and some more, and more and more. We get a curtained room in the ER eventually, so that mom can try to "go". They gave her a bedpan. BE REAL!!!!! Who can actually do THAT in a bedpan??? Mom can't. They brought in a bedside commode, she still can't, she can't even "make water". (trying to save you from gross talk).
Mom by then has an IV, her breathing is shallow, so she had an oxygen hose in her nose, has a cord attached to monitor her blood oxygen level, and has a catheter. I'm happy with the catheter; at least she won't have to get out of the bed for that. She is still begging me to get her out of bed to try to have a BM. Got her out of bed twice, SUCH AN ORDEAL with all the tubes.
A surgeon comes by. She says that she is a surgeon, but she is not doing surgery and I shouldn't worry. She says it's not a severe case of Diverticulitis, it's an infection, but not severe, everyone has somewhat of a bit of Diverticulitis and explains it to me. She's not concerned. Says I should go home and get some sleep, that she will give mom some Mineral Oil and that by morning mom will have had a BM, that she will keep her the next night to recover from the stress, and she'll probably be able to go home within 2-3 days. No Problem. The entire time that we have been in the ER, mom has asked to go to the bathroom every 15 minutes or less, all doctors say it is the infection or the constipation or the hemorrhoids that are making her feel the need to go to the bathroom.
We finally got into a room around 11:30 PM. Three very nice nurses were on her floor. I explained to them her Dementia, her desire to get out of bed and "GO", and that they really need to keep an eye on her because she would try to get out on her own. They put all four bedrails up as well as turning on the bed alarm. Mom is still in horrible pain in her belly, her stomach is distended and she is just miserable. Around 12:15 that night, I couldn't decide whether to stay or go home, knew mom would be disoriented enough in the hospital, didn't really know what I should do. Had a feeling it was going to be a long night for them, especially with the mineral oil ordeal. They talked me into going home; they would call me if there was a problem.
I got a call at 4:55, mom was extremely agitated, had been calling for me all night and her breathing was even more labored. I jumped in the car and raced back to the hospital.
It was bad, mom couldn't even make a sentence for her gasping for breath, the mineral oil didn't work and she was still trying to climb out of bed. I called Keith to come up to the hospital too, thought she needed another familiar face as well. Mom's blood pressure was 101/???, but her blood oxygen level for good 94-95.
A couple hours later, mom pulled her IV out somehow, the nurse couldn't get it back in due to her tiny veins, she called someone else to try, no luck. They decided on a PIC Line instead, not sure exactly, but it's a more permanent IV that they wouldn't have to keep replacing, inserted into the vein. After trying both arms, they found blockages between her shoulder and elbow and had to give up on that option also. Next thing I hear is ICU and everyone is rushing around in a panic. I watched them take mom out of her room, still gasping for breath but awake and tell her I love her and I'll see her soon when she gets settle in ICU.
They tell me that they have to go still another route with another form of IV and are going to place a mask over her nose and mouth that will pump massive amounts of oxygen into her lungs; it will take awhile to get her settled and stable.
Meanwhile Amanda calls, she had taken a new prescription around 10 AM and was vomiting and crying and scared because she had an exam at FSU and she couldn't study and was hysterical over what to do. I left the ICU, ran to the grocery store and got Sprite and Saltines and chicken noodle soup and drove to Amanda's apartment. Got her settled and feeling a bit better. She asked me what I was going to do the rest of the day and I told her I was going to be at the hospital with grandma, didn't want to tell her all the details with her pending exam and just said that she wasn't doing well, lots of pain and having trouble breathing. She said she'd come up there after her tests.
I had told the hospital that mom was DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) due to her Living Will, so stopped by the house to pick up a copy.
30 minutes after I got back to the hospital, the surgeon summoned us to the ICU, mom's blood pressure had dropped to 69/35, though her blood oxygen level was still 93-94. Mom wasn't going to make it. Apparently, her bowels had twisted and were dying; no blood or oxygen was getting to them. Her lungs were overcompensating for the infection in her bowels, and her kidneys were failing. She could give her basically an adrenaline intravenously, which would boost her blood pressure for a little while, giving her relief from pain, but eventually would be too much as they increased the dosage and would cause her to have a heart attack and severe pain. So we went that route, mom was asleep and peaceful for a change, not in pain. Surgery was out of the question, she was too sick and too elderly to make it through.
We stayed with mom and they started the medication. I told her to keep it going until Amanda and Katie could get there. It was 1:30. I texted them both and told them to come to the hospital as soon as they got out of school. Katie got there around 2; Amanda was just going into her exam and got there around 3:30. The girls, Keith and I talked to mom and held her hands and rubbed her shoulders. My friends Gloria and Janice came and talked with also. Strangely to me anyway, whenever I rubbed her shoulders, held her hands and whispered to her, her blood pressure climbed, if I stopped, it fell, I have to believe that even asleep, she knew I was there and that she was my all time hero.
After the girls had been there an hour, we turned off the medication. All vitals slowly lowered and very shortly she was gone. Because of the oxygen, she appeared to still be breathing. The nurse shut off the monitor, and we said our goodbyes. I was glad not to have to see her take her last breath and hear the monitor brazenly declare her gone, we didn't even know when she passed away.
Because of the wonderful care of the hospital members, mom went peacefully with her precious granddaughters, Keith and me there to help her on her way. She is with daddy and my brother now.
I am going to the Cullys on Timberlane Road this morning to make arrangements. I hope to have the funeral Friday, late afternoon.
Thank you all for all of your support and phone calls. I haven't returned calls since she was put in ICU, I really just can't right now.
Love to you all and thank you for being so kind to my mother and I these past 3 years. Elaine
|
|
Posted by TallyLassie1995 on 2008-02-28 08:52:31 | Rating: | Views: 52
|
| |
|
|
| Blog Comments
|
|
|
|
|
So sorry for the loss of your precious mother. I am in a similiar situation with my mom and I know that the time approaches. Hearing is the last thing to shut down(so hospice nurses have told me). It was wonderful that you surrounded your mother with so much love at the end. God Bless you and keep you as you go through these trying times.
|
|
Posted by shemelts
on 2008-02-28 10:10:30
|
|
|
|
|
|
