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A feast of friends

12, 2008

A feast of friends......gay dudes, ugly blondes, and cracked out Mr, rogers

It was late at night and the moon was smiling down on me with a warm expression of opportunity. I had just come out of a coffee shop and the aroma of the city was brewing with lust of erotic freedom. The slaves had come out of their shallow caves and needed a catharsis from the long day of back breaking bone. As it seems the most appropiate catalyst for this quick fix of freedom could be found in the confines of glass bottles and glasses. The men had freshened up with thick heavy scents and expensive hair gels while the women had dressed themselves in clothes that exibited their efforts in the gym and most had been painted with secret lies. I myself had been consumed with the kind of self confidence that comes when one no longer cares. I was ready for any new experience to manifest itself from the reservoirs of stillness. It was the reckless attitude that had always gave me the wealth of wild experience.
I walked slowly to a near by bar and avoided the flirtatious looks of a a pack of young highschool girls. They were circling the blocks and looking for me to take the initiative to spark a conversation. But I was in no mood for the tireless antics of young and impressionable barbie dolls who watched m.t.v and dreamed of hot boys on soft summer beaches. I kept walking and found a shallow pride in ignoring their pull. I sat down at a bar and tried to avoid the conversation of a pack of loud mouth pranksters by telling them i was friendless, a virgin, socialy akward and a mormon from utah. They ate the show with complete confidence and after awhile i tired of playing the facade and left them to feast on my false indentity. A group of girls had also come along for the ride and I had convinced them to buy me a drink, which apparently was an anamoly of experience, because ussually it is the man who goes on the erotic hunt. I filtered with them for quite some time and they told me they appreciated my sense of humor and told me i had a chance at maintaining the facade of supreme confidence. Well they were so blunt but they hinted at it and admired the fact I came off to them with out hesitation and used asservite bullshit to meet my agenda. After a while i lost interest in them and left for another more rugged bar. In the next stop i met and old man drowning in the dark pain of existential angst. He told me of us his failed experiences and how he regreted blending in with the sheeps of conformity instead of cultivating the courage to be himself and do something profound with his existence. It was a good talk but eventually he started pulling some broke back energy from his ass and started quietly hitting on me. Telling me i had a beautiful mind, I was wise beyond my years and I was player. He also told me about long ago he was beautiful and bronze and had hair that fell to the floor. I felt extremley uncomfortable and left my drink unfinished.... an archaic relic, to remind the man that it was wrong to hit on young men just looking for a good story. I failed to mention this earlier but i also met a red neck fire man who was shocked when I barely shook his hand. " what the fuck is that shit man? You got to shake a man in the hands with that firm grip like you want to fuck his wife. If you do that you own the coversation, unless ofcorse his wife is ugly, but still, shake a hand like a fucking man.!" I started laughing and couldnt keep my composure.
" All right man." I said with a huge smile. Ill keep that in mind. The man then walked off and told me he was glad to give advice to a young kid like myself.... might be important.... he had a big black mustache and looked like that cowboy in the big lebowski. Also he was hitting on girls to young and nieve ever to award him a chance... Also the gay man had a big white peppered beard and told me he was very self conscious, I was to smart to find a girl friend, he still smoked weed and he drank to alleviate the burdens of his shyness. ohh yes i almost forgot, i met a girl at the bar who said she learned how to talk by emulating the speech patterns of a parot and lived on a pirate ship when she was a young girl. Shall we continue?
I walked around and met numerous interesting people including a pack of lesbians who rode scooters, an actor from LA and a porn star. Each one lit the night on fire with a wealth of entertaining stories. It felt good to laugh and enjoy the ride of healthy dose of farce. But when i was heading home i over heard a conversation on god and I interjected saying god was dead and was nothing more than an idea to rationalize problems and create a sense of purpose for people.... a figure head in the sky that created warmth in the minds of the perplexed, an idea that could control people with a strict set of morals and rules. Play it good and play it safe and you will rewarded when you die..... One kid saw my reference to Niezche and we went on a long rant on life. He was a smart kid and held the conversation well. Half through our intelectual battle, a strange looking man interjected. He looked like a bizare version of Mr. Rogers. His eyes were heavy and hot with the red dawn of a deep drown. He was the kind of person you meet and you imediatally think to yourself, " Ohh dear god, what has this man done, what does he want and has he ever been convicted of molesting small children." but despite his peculiar nature, he was actually really smart and had alot of good insights on life. He actually worked for the state department as some sort of psychologist. His history was murky and littered with lies but he was smart enough to convince me. I kept fucking with him telling him life was meaningless and he kept rebutting in a thick scottish accent " Not really, Not really." All three of us went on for a long time out on the dirty streets infront of the bar and i found it fun to see how long i could sustain eye contact with the devilish looking character I shall call Mr. Rogers. To his applaud, he was ripe with confidence in the midst of his communication short comings.
A nearby gay, over heard our voices and decided to introduce his ideas. He was tall had black spikey hair and exibited that articulate prose of a flamboyant butt pirate.He was with an ugly, fat blonde with teeth that looked usefull for tearing apart the hard flesh of innocent prey. Apparently she was from russian and was interested in black men and strippers. She was also engaged with the gay kid but when he came out, she decided the investment was no longer worth it, but still held onto the reigns of friendship. Can you think for a moment here. They are about to get married and she catches him cheating on her with another butt pirate, BUt instead of running to the hills of depression and self pity she actaully decides to remain close friends with this guy, and more likely than not still goes in for a nice drunk mistake.
All of us were very hungry and decided to end the night with a good feast at Dennys. SO it was me, a smart kid, Mr. Rogers, a fat girl and a gay kid. When we arrived at this greasy joint the waitress thought i was from in the milatary because i had shaved head and a camo shirt. " Ohh how was Iraq?" she asked. I laughed and told her i had never picked up a gun in my entire life. She looked at me as if she were somehow disapointed and seated us at a booth. I took a moment of reflection. What the hell was I doing? It was three in the morning and i was at Dennys with a strange crew of unknowns. I pulled out a pen and grabbed a napkin. I drew a picture of a suit with a question mark on his forehead and wrote " Stunned, Perplexed and utterly confused" next to him. I looked at it for a while and laughed. I handed it over to the Mr. Rogers( who was forty something hanging out with a bunch of 20 year olds). He gave me a strange look and squirmed in his seat.
" Let me see that pen young man"
I happily granted his wish and waited to see what thought would come bubbling out from the brain of this strange strange man.
He wrote " Civil liberties are freedoms that protect the individual from government"
Mr. Rogers then gave the napkin to everyone around the table. The gay, and the blonde signed their names, and the brain wrote some existential mantra. Looking back now i wish i could have kept that napkin. It was to classic and to weird to throw away, but ohhh well. The group then went on to talk about what they had seen and where they had been, while i quietly soaked everything up while i devoured my fish in chips. The best were stories of sex and some festival in the desert where people go crazy and get naked......... The waitress looked liked a deranged meth head and she had a habbit of shaking her head back and fourth when she walked. It reminded me of a bobble head on the dash board of nerdy men who are desperate for attention. Her hair was dry and looked like it had been cooked with a hair dryer and sauteed with the spice of heavy sprays and chemicals. Her face was covered in a thick makeup and her eyes were lined with a creepy turquoise. But all judgement aside, she was really nice and gave us all a big discount and warned us the deal was a one time thing.
Mr. Rogers thought it would be funny to tell her that i was a genius. Her eyes lit up with the sparkle of enthusiasm.
" Ohh really. Thats amazing."
I told her I just thought alot and that the accusation was a gross exageration.
Mr. Rogers smiled creepily and said " Im just trying to flatter you.
I looked at Mr. Rs red eyes and held my gaze.
" You really creep me the fuck out I said." He just laughed and soaked it in. Im sure it wasnt the first time he had heard that.
The waitress enjoyed my speech and my attack on Mr. R. It inspired her to tell us all about being in car accident and sustaining severe brain damage. I didnt see the connection but appartently the accident had awakened her to a more abstract mind and she wasnt afraid to tell us she had an extremely large IQ. I kept it to myself, but why if such a powerful mind, work at Dennys?
When the night finally ended we all did something ridiculous. We gathered to together and gave each other a big group hug. Mr Rogers said grace. " You are all most interesting people I have met in years. Keep in mind I have traveled the globe and been awarded the opportunity to meet alot of gifted individuals. I will not forget this night for some time."
Everyone looked at eachother and i think thats when it hit. It was me, Mr. R, the brain, the bisexual blonde from russia, and the gay kid who used to be engaged to the blonde but decided he liked dick more boob.( he tried to kiss me once on the cheek and told me he hated french people with a deep passion) This was strange enough to be something out of hollywood movie, the product of some delerious writer with a wicked and bizzare imagination. But the irony here was screaming. This was not some show this was really life. How utterly beautiful, absurd and disgusting! perhaps a metaphor for life in general. Just a big show of random intervention.
When it was all said and done, Mr. Rogers and the brain left for their lives i
Mr. Rogers and the brain left for their lives in Mr. Rs luxury suv and the two former lovers drove me home.
the end

important life lessons....... shake a man hands like you want to fuck his wife, dont blend in because you might regret it when your old and wise and sometimes, the greatest adventures can only arise when you are by yourself and open to anything.

other perplexing thoughts how much to i let out and i how much to i keep in. Is shyness nothing more than act of selfishness. The world would love to hear your story, or well i guess they would
the end

Posted by TO on 2008-06-12 14:30:27 | Rating: