Okay so here it goes life is jus not really worth it.. The universe enjoys playing huge cosmic jokes on me, and I can no longer put up with it.. I guess the Goddess enjoys  dangling everything I could ever want in front of me and then take it away.. I guess thats all the world is really about taking away the things that mean the most.... the ones you love the most... Maybe I was the stupid one I shoulda never gave her another chance but what was I suppose to do I love her more than I love my own life what am I to do? Damned be my heart that constantly betrays me expects me to deal with it sometimes I think it would be better if I could just put my emotions in exile, so all the tragedy around me could not touch my already broken and maimed heart.. I don't see a reason to continue on this way everything spiraling downward so quickly and nothing to look forward to oh Isis why do I still breath in air of the living when my heart already feels like it should be amongst the dead, I just don't see what I've done so wrong that  I don't deserve happiness so Isis take way this love I have for her that only brings me to tragdey and tears.. nothing good can ever come of this so rip out my heart before the blade crosses my skin again.. It seems to be my best friend and most trusted confidante never betraying me and always bringing me relief and comfort even more so than my closet friends.. oh Isis take away this pain or my life because I  can not live this way without her.. it seems as if everything is lost and all I want to do is die.. To esacape all I feel.. and in my lost state my common sense leaves me on my own too.. and thoughts that cross my mind are tragic b/c I've already lived threw them, or know that they might really be the death of me or atleast the polluting of me.... I know this doesn't make sense to any of you reading it but that is fine.. I only use this blog for things too personal and too graphic for myspace... If you read this far I guess I'd like to thank you for taking you time to read about my tragically fucked up life... and I hope you're just as miserable as I am.. lol.. Yes, I'm cliche, misery loves company j/k.. have a great day! Not!