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I need to write this and let it out because I do feel bad. So last night S said something to me and I totally just assumed and took it for how she said it without really thinking about it or even asking her what she meant. I immediately just assumed she was pushing me away. That what she said was her way of pushing me away and just keeping me around as a friend. That's not what she meant when she said it. I felt bad and I even made her cry. I don't like to see anyone cry unless it's for happiness or joy. I felt terrible and I do still feel bad as I write this. She was telling me how she felt and that's why she said what she did. We both have a lack of communication with each other. At least that's how I feel. I know I hold back as well as her. Before we went to sleep and I apologized, she said that she just wants me to communicate with her more. I can do that. Not easy for me but I can do that. It's been a work in progress for me for a while now.  So anyways! I'm at work writing this and I sort of have to go but I wanted to write more. I will try to later but we will see. I just wanted to write a little to let it out.
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