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so here i am home. things that i don't want to think about or face are starting to come through my mind. people have called me some things, and i'm not saying that they were all bad or anything. i'm just speaking in general. i tend to do that a lot. eh! i'm not going to name or list the things i've been called but i'm going to write and let it out as much as possible. it's just been circling around inside of me and i think it's about time i write about it and let it out. it's not really something i feel like talking about to anyone. if they read it on here, great! if they don't, ok! here we go.
so the things that i've been called have circled around in me for so long. some things i've been called by more then one person. hmmmm.... so anyways! since i'm a little sick and have been feeling rather sensitive lately i guess that's why i'm finally sort of facing this and venting it out. i can't help but try and see both sides of a situation. i can't help but be neutral. can't help that i don't really have a lot of things that i can say is my ultimate favorite. i can't help it if i don't always see the full picture or understand. i try my best to do the right thing and be as helpful as i can. sometimes, i need to learn when to walk away and when to leave something alone. i know i take things for granted here and there, but everyone does. it's a matter of how much and if they ever really do appreciate it and give thanks. i don't think i say thank you enough. i don't think i value people in my life enough. i know i'm not perfect and i don't try to be. i know i'm pretty quiet, but i do voice my opinion as needed and wanted. i've come to grow and learn from day to day, and person to person. i think i analyze too much sometimes. i know i jump to quick to an asumption before asking what i'm unsure about. i know i take on a lot of feelings, worries, and stress of people in my life. i think i carry more on my sholders then i can handle sometimes. i know i don't cry enough or show enough emotion. i know i get taken advantage of a lot, but a lot of times i figure karma will take it's turn. i know that i need to be stronger and you can take that however you want but i know what it means. i know that i need something to inspire me more to do the right thing. i know i need to step out of my comfort zone more then i do. i know i need to give more people a chance. i know i need to try and not be scared.
i know this is just a bunch of randomness. sorry! i'm just sort of putting a bunch of random things that are coming out that i know have gotten to me one way or another. i'm ready to take baby steps. i'm ready to start facing my fears slowly yet surely. i think i'm just about done writing on this. i got some other things i need to get to doing. thanks for reading and sorry for any wasted time i might of took! |
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Posted by SympatheticStargazer on 2008-05-12 19:02:43 | Rating: | Views: 72
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My only regret is that you jumbled it together:P But what else would you do with a list of thoughts? I see a bit of myself in each pommegranite seed of revelation you planted here. We face many of the same lil issues that seem insurmountable. Name calling being a rather minor yet still stinging one.
Anyway, I dont know how you are beating your fears...but I am still clueless about mine other than knowing I have to face them if I hope to get past them.
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Posted by brainstormer
on 2008-05-12 22:40:03
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well thank you for the comment. i'm sure at some point, i will completely face each one individually and be able to name them out or at least do a better job about talking about. of course without talking about it. =)
i see you've been reading my stuff like you said you would. cool beans! hopefully you didn't find it too boring!
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Posted by SympatheticStargazer
on 2008-05-13 00:46:02
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