My friend S is a major slut. Sad thing is, she's also the mother of a teenage daughter and young son. Back in the day when we did the club thing together, she'd always manage to take some stray dude home which has resulted in everything from unwanted pregnancies (couple of abortions) to her bank card being stolen by the guy SHE was treating to a late night snack. I've tried to talk with her about her behavior (without sounding like a know-it-all-saint) but she has stated that people have different opinions about different things and she's happy with her choices. A month ago the police found her passed out drunk in her car. WIndows open and partially dressed. Her rationalization? At least she had the sense to pull over and not stay on the road.

So there ya go. From the slew of married men, baby daddies and wanna-be drug king-pins, S is still putting herself and her children in harms way. The last two men she slept with were the men of 'other firends' who she still sees on a regular basis. Even if the harm she is subjecting her kids and self to is only mental, emotional or spiritual; it's still harmful behavior.  It's reached the point where I now only see her once a year, around Christmas to exchange gifts. But I'm not doing that next year. What's the point? Takes the 'meaning' out of the Holiday if you're only meeting to exchange gifts.  I told her maybe we could do dinner together (with the kids) as opposed to exchanging. Truth is, I could do without that.

S's babies-daddy was showing up before the Holidays and screwing her every weekend.  He thought that they were back together because of the physical relationship. S told him that fucking didn't mean anything, she didn't want a relationship with him.  Now he's met someone else and introduced the kids to her. S claims she's not upset but she can't stop talking about it. When the 'baby-daddy' chastised the teenage daughter for wearing too tight clothing (she's 14) S responded with 'well I bet your dad's girlfriend wears tight clothes'! WTF. Bad mothering.

Well, sometimes we outgrow friendships and I guess this is one. I've stuck around because I knew of S being sexually abused by her father when she was only two. Her mom didn't even leave the guy, they weren't even married. BUT at the same time, we grow up and have to make better choices for ourselves and our children. Instead of moving forward,  it just seems like S is moving backwards with each passing year.  There are things I value about the friendship. I've invested lots of time and many years. S knows me. I can call her up and talk about anything. I'll miss that if even the phone calls stop. S worked at a major, very well known organization that offered her mental help when she started flipping out at work. She didn't feel the need to continue therapy. I dunno, I'll see how it goes. I just don't want to seem like I'm judging her.

My baby brother invited us over for New Years Eve. I want to go for a couple of hours.