How funny, I just noticed you are in AZ too. Lol. Anyway, maybe try journaling about what you are freaked out about with the therapist thing. Anti-depressants are not always forever. I used to be super against them. I had to take them for a while myself. They can do wonders on people. Beware of anti-anxiety meds and sleeping meds. Used right, they can help, but go outside of that realm and you can be in trouble (Been there). Good luck. :)